LOST hope
by Austin B
Summary: Can Sawyer help another castaway let go of her guilt, before it consumes her? Kate tries restoring Jack's faith, while fighting the closeness that grows between them. And Claire gives birth, but will she survive? JK SOC CC
1. Looks Like Rain

LOST hope

When you've lost all hope, you can borrow some from me. Just don't give up.  
K/J S/OC C/C Sawyer helps Dusty let go of her guilt, Kate helps Jack lighten up, and Claire goes into labor.

Chapter 1 - Looks Like Rain

"You're bleeding."

"What? Oh, that. It's nothing." Jack started, upon feeling a hand brushing his cheek lightly, and waved off the scrape nonchalantly and watched Kate sit next to him on the log near the fire. "A branch got away from me when I was hauling in firewood." He explained as she tilted his head gently toward the fire to get a better look.

"Those branches, they're dangerous." Kate said sarcastically, drawing out a brilliantly sincere smile that was rarely seen gracing Jack's handsome face. That dazzling smile of his was just what she'd been looking for to get her mind off her troubles. She reluctantly took her hands from his warm skin. "You should get someone to look at that."

"Like who? I'm the doctor." He chuckled, and Kate smiled, realizing the irony of her words. "So what's up?" He began, hoping there was no real reason she came to see him, but to see him.

Kate hesitated, as she realized there was no feasible explanation for her visit. She smiled weakly at him, knowing that when she looked in his deep brown eyes that lying to him simply wasn't an option.

"I just wanted to talk."

"About anything in particular?"

She sighed slowly, and leaned her head back to stare at the stars. "About how hopeless we are."

"Kate, we're not completely hopeless."

"No, just mostly."

Jack smiled, happy to know she was sharing a weakness with him.

"We're not going to die here. I promise. Someday we'll all be able to get back to our lazy chairs and fuzzy comforters."

"You had a fuzzy comforter?" Kate teased, eliciting yet another smile. Funny how those rare smiles became not so rare when she was around him.

"No, but I think when I go home, I just might have to get me one."

Kate laughed, and Jack gazed at her for that moment, when the fire threw flickering shadows across her features, and the worries that always hung in her eyes were chased away by laughter. It was amazing how her face changed when she laughed. If he thought she was beautiful before, he didn't know the meaning of the word. And knowing he put the laughter there, he chased the worries from her soul if but for that one moment, made him happy. Happier than he thought he could be stranded on this monster infested island.

"How's Claire?" Kate asked, after a moment of silence.

"She's doing good. As long as she doesn't stay out in the sun and keeps hydrated and nourished, she and the baby will be healthy."

"I worry about her."

"I worry about you." The words spilled from his mouth unintentionally. He smiled at his foolishness and looked down at his feet.

"There's no need to worry. As long as you're here I'll be fine." Kate said after a pause, a light smile playing about her lips. Jack looked over at her, smiling at him, and immediately forgot his regret. A silent moment passed, in which both were content to simply be in each other's presence, and look into the other's face. But Kate, as was characteristic of her, realized the intimacy of the moment, and brought dreary reality back into the picture.

"I should try to get some sleep."

"You're stealing my doctor lines. Pretty soon, they won't need me around here." He joked.

"That won't happen." Kate said seriously, then a smile grew across her face, without realizing she'd slipped back into the intimate moment again. So, she stood. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, Kate." He said, and watched her walk to her bedroll. He gazed into the fire for a while, before reluctantly leaving the beach to return to the caves.

The next morning dawned, and the castaways were roused from their dreams of home to be slapped with harsh reality.

"How's my favorite mommy-to-be this morning?" Charlie quipped as he strolled up to Claire, who was sitting in the sand looking out to the ocean and rubbing her expanded belly.

"Oh, same old. You know, pregnant, stranded." She replied sardonically, with a brilliant smile she saved only for him. He sat quickly next to her so his knees wouldn't give out. "What're you doing at the beach this early?"

"Coming to see you. I brought you something." He said excitedly, with a giddy smile.

"Ooh!" Claire's face lit, a childish gleam sparkling in her blue eyes, and she bit her lower lip in anticipation. Charlie's heart fluttered. He reached into his back pocket to produce a stack of long leaves. Claire furrowed her brow, and Charlie fanned out the leaves. He'd sewn them together into a fan with a sewing needle and thread he'd found.

"It's a fan. You know, for when you get hot out here on the scorching beach while I'm nice and cool in the caves."

Claire scoffed. "Relentless. You never pass up an opportunity to bring it up, do you?"

"Nope." He grinned proudly.

"Well thank you, that was very sweet. It will come in handy." He flashed him another brilliant smile as she tested out her new toy. "Oh, it works!" She exclaimed, pretending to be surprised. Charlie scoffed.

"Of course it works! I made it!" He was too busy pretending to be hurt to notice the playful look that suddenly passed behind Claire's eyes. She leaned over to him and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. He seemed surprised at first, and looked to her, but she had looked away shyly. But he smiled, and nudged her with his elbow, breaking the edgy moment.

Locke sat on a large rock, looking out to sea. It was where he thought best. Alone, with the breeze against his face and the waves crashing in front of him. He sensed a presence to his left, and turned to see a woman approaching. He'd noticed her before, though he didn't know her name. She looked heavy, like she was carrying some burden on her small shoulders. The lightness in her tone betrayed the sadness in her eyes.

"Hi."

"Hello." He replied, curious.

"Locke, right?"

"Last I checked."

She chuckled. "I'm Dusty." Shoving her hand out to him, he took it and shook it. "You're the one who does all of our hunting, and provides us with our food, so…I just wanted to say thank you." He paused a moment thoughtfully.

"You're welcome."

"Mind if I sit?" She asked, after a moment of awkwardness in which Locke studied her.

"Be my guest." He scoot over so she could sit next to him on the rock, looking out to the horizon.

"John Locke. 1632-1704. Influenced the founding fathers so heavily that Thomas Jefferson essentially plagiarized most of the Constitution from him."

"That's very good."

"Thanks. Two years of Government shoved down my throat. I never really thought I would have any use for it."

"So what is it that you do, in the real world, anyway? With that kind of knowledge, you should know no boundaries."

Dusty chuckled. "Well, I'm worked for a computer company briefly, but found it utterly boring. So I found a photojournalism job for a Science magazine." She was interrupted by someone calling her name from camp, not too far away. "Oh, that's Hurley. He's been carving a likeness of me from a chunk of wood for the past few days. Either he's finished or he's already forgotten what I look like. I'll see you around, Locke."

"See you around. Oh and Dusty," He called as she'd taken a few steps away. "It would be best to find a dry place to sleep tonight." He said mysteriously, pointing to the North, to the dark clouds that appeared in the distance. She nodded, and turned, continuing back toward camp.

Locke was right. The rain started just as the sun slipped below the horizon. Small, fast drops that felt like tiny pins on your skin. The castaways had sought shelter for the night in their makeshift tents, or huddled under the wing of the plane. But Dusty stood on the beach. Looking out at the sea, though it was too dark to identify the rolling waters. The moon and stars were hidden. The small drops of water filled the air, and soaked her from head to toe. Her clothes and hair clung to her skin, and she moved her fingertips gently at her sides, to feel the rain dripping from them.

There was a flash of lighting off at sea, and a loud clap of thunder came to her ears shortly after. The noise of the storm was soothing. It made her feel small, forgotten, in the world that pained her so every day. The anonymity of standing soundless in a loud storm soothed her, strangely.

The children loved storms, too. Not like other kids, who were scared of the thunder. It lulled them to sleep, just as storms had lulled her to sleep when she was a child. They were so special. Pain welled inside her chest so quickly, she felt she would burst. She had to do something. So, she opened her mouth and yelled. At the top of her lungs. Loud and long.

"Amy!" She screamed, but her voice was drowned amidst the thunder which rolled over the island at that moment. Dusty heaved a sigh, strangely angry. But very much relieved. To release her name into the air, not to have it bottled up inside her. To let the wind and the rain know how beautiful she was. But she wasn't finished. Amy wasn't the only beautiful one.

"Braydon!" She screamed again, just as loud, and just as long, until she was out of breath. Tilting her head up to the clouds, feeling the rain lessen, gently pelting her face, Dusty smiled. Now the trees and the sand knew the children, too. She could share the goodness and beauty of knowing them with something else. Suddenly, exhaustion assaulted her, and her knees gave. The lack of sleep from the past few days had caught up with her, and she leaned gently back onto the wet sand, not caring how dirty she became. Only that she felt lighter now, and Dusty drifted into forgiving sleep with a faint smile caressing her lips.

-Austin B.


	2. Truce

Chapter 2 - Truce

As if punishment for her weak body giving in to the horror of sleep, Dusty woke with a start. She jolted up on the cot, and realized she was not where she had been when last she was conscious. She recalled the night before. The wind, the rain, yelling the children's names into the storm. There was still sand in her hair and on her clothes. But how did she get here? She looked around. She was in a tent. And there was a man sleeping on the floor. An attractive man, all the better.

His hair was sandy blonde, pin straight and shaggy. Keith Urban hair, she immediately made the reference to the Australian country singer. The tan skin on his face looked dirty and rough with stubble from a week on the island. Dusty swallowed hard. She imagined how embarrassed she'd be if he woke up. Having to explain what she was doing sleeping on the beach in a storm. She couldn't handle it. So, employing all her stealth techniques, she slipped from the cot and tiptoed out the door. But, before she could exit the tent, she heard a voice from inside.

"Leavin so soon, sweetie?" The southern accent drawled, and she could tell he was smirking. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed a breath in preparation. She turned around and found him sitting on the cot, looking at her with a cocky grin and vibrant blue eyes.

"Uh…listen, I know you were trying to be nice, bringing me in from the storm and all, but…honestly I feel uncomfortable with the fact that I slept in your tent last night without knowing it." She blurted, trying to cut the conversation short so she could make her retreat.

"I do something nice for once and this is the thanks I get. Just great."

"I didn't need a stranger to violate my personal space and carry me off in my sleep. Why should I thank you for that?"

Sawyer looked at her in disbelief. Was she really arguing with him for bringing her in out of a storm? "Geez lady, you're insane!"

She glared at him. "I don't appreciate insults in the morning."

"Neither do I." He retorted, a half disgusted and angry look stitching his brows together. She looked at him angrily for a moment, then turned to leave the tent, but he caught her arm.

"Hold on a minute, little girl. What were you doin out on the beach in a storm, anyway?"

"I was trying to drown myself." Dusty retorted with an eye roll as she turned back around to him.

"There's a whole ocean out there, hunny."

"That would be too easy. And everyone does it that way. I thought I'd be creative." Said Dusty sardonically, thinking her beating around the bush would end the conversation. But he took his eyes off her for a moment, as if thinking up another question to ask her, so she quickly exited the tent. He opened his mouth to speak, bringing his eyes back to her, but finding her gone, the tent flap still swinging.

"W-" He jumped up and went out the door, and seeing her walking briskly back to the actual camp, he ran after her, catching her arm.

"Aren't I gonna get a thank you?"

"For what? Doing something 'nice' that I didn't need in the first place?"

"Uh, yeah." Sawyer said incredulously, "It's the thought that counts, and if you knew me, you'd realize just how special this occasion is."

"By the looks of things, I'm thankful that I don't know you." She turned from him again, and took two steps to camp when she heard him mumble.

"I bet you're a real hit with the fellas back home. Your charm is overwhelming."

"Thanks." She over pronounced, with a wide, fake smile.

"I was being sarcastic!" He shouted after her as she walked away, feeling the need to get in the last word and win the argument. One last time, she turned to him and spat venomously,

"Big surprise. And so was I."

With that, Sawyer let her go. He didn't know what the hell her problem was, and if she was so bitter and hollow to not even thank him for attempting to do a good deed, no matter if she didn't ask for it, then he didn't care. That'll teach him for caring. All Kate's hard work at getting him to make an effort to be social, one of the group had been flushed.

* * *

Sawyer was leaning his back against a steep sand dune, looking out to the ocean. Thinking. Which he'd done a lot of since the crash, since there was really nothing else to do on this perilous spit of land. He thought about his life. About what would've happened if the plane hadn't crashed. If he hadn't gotten aboard.

But his musings were interrupted by the sounds of an argument down the beach. His curiosity got the better of his laziness and usual indifference, and he climbed over the sand dune to his right to see that down the beach, Michael was arguing with a woman. His son Walt watched on helplessly, clearly unhappy with his father.

Sawyer smiled. Arguments and animosity were his drug. It took his mind off the hopelessness of their situation, and was something to do. Something he seemed to be good at.

"Look, I know what I'm doing. I don't think you have any right to question my integrity. I was just being nice to your son." Dusty said in an annoyed tone.

"He could have been killed."

"There you go again. Would you rather have General Locke teaching him to throw knives?" She paused for effect. "Walt is safe. I know what I'm doing here!"

"That's a matter of opinion. Come on Walt."

"Dad!"

"Walt!" Michael demanded, and held out his hand to beckon him. Walt growled and looked back to her apologetically. She smiled at him and rubbed his back as he walked away from her. Michael glared back at her, placing a protective arm around his son, and the woman's face immediately changed from gentle to poisonous. When they were out of sight, she let out an irritated growl and plopped on the sand.

"You'd think you were about to drown the kid or something." Sawyer said as he strolled up to her. She started at the sound of his voice and stood to meet him.

"Really! It's not like I was gonna molest him. I was only teaching him back handsprings."

"Only?"

"I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't have let him get hurt." She said, and Sawyer knew she was still explosive, and would start an argument with him if he'd given her a reason.

"Now what are you doing hanging out with some kid when I was sittin' up there all by my lonesome, just lookin' for some company?"

"What can I say, I like 'em young." She replied dryly, apparently not finding him amusing.

She was short, this woman, and thin. With shoulder length hair of dark brown and a few blonde highlights. Her eyes were green with hazel streaks toward the pupil. Though she had a tiny frame, under her long sleeved white shirt, and the T shirt she wore over it, he could plainly see her body was toned. When the breeze blew a particularly hard gust, and ruffled the bottom of her shirt, he caught a glimpse of her muscled stomach. She glanced back to him, and caught his gaze roaming her body. So, desperate to say something to break the ice, and take his eyes from her body, she spoke.

"I'm sorry about being a bitch this morning."

"Oh? That's good, because you really were."

"Unnecessary." She warned, and he wiped the grin off his face in acquiescence. "And thank you, for bringing me in from the storm. Creepy as it was sleeping in your tent next to you without even knowing it, thanks." She added the last part, just to keep her defeat from stinging too much.

"It was my pleasure." He said slyly, with a sexual undertone that was always present when he joked with a woman.

"Well, I have things to do." She said unsurely under his gaze and walked past him. He was about to say something particularly smart assed, but closed his mouth again and just smiled, deciding he liked the view better as she was walking away.

She walked across the beach. Across the camp, where people sat idly. Talking, sun bathing. Only a select few were working productively. Maybe she could find something to help them with.

"Hey!" She called, and jogged up to the man. He was the doctor, she knew. Jack, was his name. She'd seen him from down the beach before, but had never talked to him. He looked up at her from his backpack. She unconsciously smiled. She hadn't known he was so handsome.

"Hi." He replied, going back to his task after seeing that he did not know her.

"What's going on?"

"Me and some others are going out to hunt." He said calmly, and Dusty noticed how smooth his voice was. It completely betrayed his haggard appearance. His breathlessness, the bags beneath his brown eyes.

"Ooh can I help?" She said excitedly, her face lighting up. Her juvenile appearance made him smile faintly.

"Thanks, but I think we're all set for the hunt. Any more would just hinder us." Her face fell. "But if you want to help, you could get some more firewood for the signal fire." He said, trying to spare her feelings, and pointed to the fire they'd kept burning in hopes someone would discover their location. She nodded, and noticed a woman jogging up behind Jack.

"Jack." She said, and Dusty immediately noticed the downtrodden appearance of his eyes lighten. He turned to her. The woman noticed Dusty and smiled faintly at her. "Hey." Dusty smiled back, realizing this must be Kate. She was pretty.

"Ready?" She asked, and Jack nodded, pulling the pack onto his back.

"Thanks." Jack said back to Dusty before leaving, and Kate smiled back and nodded to her as she left. Dusty nodded back. She decided she liked her. She watched them leave. Jack, Kate, Locke, and Michael. Dusty smiled mischievously. That meant Walt was left unattended. She abandoned the task of firewood to seek out the boy and continue their lessons.

* * *

A/N…I'm so nervous when I post a new story. I don't know if people will like it or not. But now I know at least four people do! Thanks so much guys!

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - good to see you've followed me from LOTR to LOST fics, too! Thanks!

**KT** - lol I know, I couldn't help it, I just had to write a LOST fic. I love the show too much. Borderline obsession, I kid you not.

**Kim** - I'm most definitely a J/K shipper myself. I couldn't imagine it any other way! I LUV JACK!

**DemonQueen666 **- thanks for the review! You're sort of right…but I can't give too much away.

-Austin B.


	3. Heart to Heart

Chapter 3 - Heart to Heart

The hunting party returned a few hours before, and now the sun splayed golden rays over the castaways, as the darkness grew more complete, and the light slipped away. Fires grew in many places along the beach, and Dusty was desperately seeking out a new distraction before the sun sank too deep. Locke had divvied up the boar they'd killed earlier, and dinner was had. She saw Jack hopping from one person to another, all complaining of some ailment. She was about to go talk to him when Kate appeared and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. Again, he smiled that smile. Dusty smiled to herself, and walked away.

"Hi." He greeted her, and she sat next to him, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I almost didn't recognize you standing still." She said with a smile, which he returned.

"Don't get used to it. Some people have started complaining about the island's lack of bathroom facilities."

"It's no surprise they'd come to you."

Jack just raised his eyebrows in helplessness, and they sat in companionable silence, until Kate spoke again.

"Where's Claire?" Urgency and worry in her voice.

"She's not on the beach." Jack said curiously, searching around.

Jack furrowed his brow, and started walking quickly into the jungle, toward the caves. Kate followed him immediately.

* * *

Charlie, with two large leaves serving as plates, carried boar meat over to Claire's bedroll, where she was sitting fanning herself, more for the sake of movement rather than cooling. He set the leaf on top of her belly. 

"Dinner is served." He pulled a water bottle from his pocket and set it next to her as well, and plopped himself down in front of her.

"Thanks." She said, and dug in ravenously. Charlie ate tentatively, taking Claire's distraction as an opportunity to watch her. The sun was sinking to her right, casting golden rays over her face. Her skin was glowing. She glanced up at him, and swallowed the bite she was chewing.

"Sorry. Am I that disgusting?" She chuckled, wiping her mouth.

"Not at all. Exactly the opposite, actually." He said softly, with a faint smile. Claire looked at him a moment. But quickly looked away.

They'd finished their dinner when Charlie interrupted their conversation, which had strewn to their beloved movies.

"Come with me." He said, standing, and reaching down to her.

"W-Why?"

"I have something to show you. I was goin to wait until later, but I just can't wait anymore."

Claire obliged, and took his hand as he led her into the trees. She hesitated.

"Charlie, it's getting dark, should we be going in there?"

"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you. And it's not that far." He reassured her, and pulled her closer to him as they walked. Soon, they came to a sheer rock wall, going about twenty feet up. The dense vegetation blocked off most of the sunlight. With his hands, he searched the smooth rock until he found what he was looking for. He took her hand again and pulled her in front of him, facing the wall.

"What, Charlie? I can't see anything."

"Just wait." He whispered in her ear. The wind rustled the branches, moving them enough to let golden rays from the sun through the dense vegetation, and cast them on the wall. There, across the stone wall was chiseled a heart. With Claire's name inside. She softly gasped, and smiled. But, feeling Charlie's hands softly skimming her shoulders, she turned to him, the smile gone from her lips.

"Why are you doing this, Charlie?"

"Doin what?"

"This!" She said, pointing to the rock wall. "And this!" She pointed feverishly between them. "I'm pregnant, Charlie. We're stranded on a desert island with monsters. How could anything good possibly come of this?"

"Claire," He took her shoulders and stepped into her. "I like you, a lot. And I care for you so much. I care about what happens to you and your baby. How could something good not come of this feeling?" Charlie placed his hands on her neck, running his thumbs over her jaw line. Claire held tightly onto his wrists, neither pushing him away or holding him there. He leaned down to her, and she closed her eyes in anticipation of his lips upon hers.

"Claire!" A voice shouted from nearby. It sounded like Jack. He sounded scared.

"Yeah, we're here." Charlie shouted back after a sigh of disappointment. Soon, Jack came running to them, with Kate close behind.

"What the hell are you two doing? It's getting dark, you shouldn't be out here." Jack reprimanded.

"Sorry to frighten you, Jack. We just went for a little walk." Claire spoke quickly before Charlie, whose brow had furrowed angrily.

"Well, I'd rather you stay in plain sight when the sun goes down, okay?" He said, gentler this time, the anger gone from his eyes, replaced only by concern.

"Sure, sorry." Charlie apologized.

* * *

Dusty carefully set a few more branches onto the fire. She had to leave Walt before Michael returned, and completed the task of gathering more firewood. It was now the dead of night, and most were asleep or in the process of getting there. She stared into the flickering flames for a while, and her thoughts ran away with her, as she feared they would if she stopped moving for too long. 

In an instant, their lives flashed before her eyes. Small bits and pieces of memories, each packed so full of emotion that she felt happiness, sadness, pride, and anger all in one terrifying mix. Girl scouts and boy scouts, knee scrapes, loud boisterous laughter, falling asleep in her arms. Until it came to the day they got on the plane.

The screams replayed in her head, as if it was happening all over again so near to her ears, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly to block them out. Night time was the worst. With a sigh, she opened them and turned around to walk somewhere and do something to absorb her mind, and protect herself from the memories, but found Sawyer standing there.

"Howdy there, Pipsqueak."

She started, then furrowed her brow at him. "Oh fun, I have a nick name." She said dryly.

"You should feel lucky, it's an privilege I bestow upon few." He grinned

"I'm so honored."

"So what're you doin up so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She said, and walked past him down to the beach.

"Don't you sleep unless it's raining buckets?" He asked, walking up next to her, sure to keep a foot of space between them.

"Not if I can help it." She sighed out.

"What's wrong? Afraid of the boogey monster?"

"Why do you care?" She snapped.

"Just makin conversation, sweetheart. Would you rather sit here alone?"

Dusty swallowed hard, and he noticed it with a smirk. "I have nightmares." She said lightly and immediately slapped her forehead with her palm. "God that sounds so stupid!"

But Sawyer did not come back with some sarcastic remark, as she'd expected. "Not that stupid. Stranded on an island we're not even sure is deserted, with a monster in the jungle and a bunch of strangers." Dusty looked to him as he spoke he looked out over the ocean. He caught her gaze and smirked. "Hell, I'd have nightmares too, if I didn't have you to fill my dreams."

Yep, there it was. Dusty rolled her eyes. "Could you be any more inappropriate?"

"Well, I'm sure if I tried…" He trailed off, as Dusty had turned from him and made for her bedroll, disgusted. But she found, as she lay on the sand looking up at the stars in the velvet sky and the palm trees blowing in the breeze, she smiled faintly and chuckled, shaking her headgood naturedly at Sawyer's stupid remarks. She almost wondered why everyone hated him, before she remembered everything she'd heard around camp. She was not one to put too much weight on grapevined gossip, but every individual story she'd overheard had the same core happenings and results. Sawyer was an ass, someone got punched.

So, Dusty pondered long on the conundrum, strangely happy to have something else to keep her mind. Something that didn't involve moving, since her body had begun to lag, but also something that did involve a pretty, dimpled smile and sparkling blue eyes.

* * *

**Leigh** - Thanks, I was actually quite concerned about writing characters to coincide with their actual TV doings. I wasn't sure if I could make them do and say things their characters would actually do. Yikers. But thanks for that, it was a great confidence boost.

**Orlando's Hot Chick, DemonQueen666** - lol, I hear ya…that Sawyer's a piece of work.

**Cat1** - Oh, see, it was Dusty who was reciting the little Government/History lesson about John Locke. Sorry about the confusion!

**Pink Pinker** - lol. Most definitely. I'm going to make a T shirt that says I heart Jack and wear it every Wednesday.

-Austin B.


	4. Heartsick

Chapter 4 - Heartsick

Dusty opened her eyes. Palm trees were blowing in the dim sunshine. The air was still a bit chilled from the night, and she knew from the look of the sunshine, the quiet sounds of camp and smell of dying fires and forest dew that it was still very early. She looked up at the sky for a minute, then sighed and sat up. A few people were stirring.

She stood and strolled to the signal fire absently, and placed a few more branches on it, then went to get breakfast of last night's boar. When she'd eaten, she noticed Kate walking down the beach. So, she walked up to meet her.

"Hey." Kate said, when she spotted Dusty approaching.

"Mornin Kate." Dusty replied.

"How do you know my name?" The woman asked, eying her warily.

"It's a small island." Dusty smiled nonchalantly.

Kate chuckled, suspicion immediately gone from her voice and eyes. "I suppose. But I haven't seen you before. What's your name?"

"Dusty Mitchell." She said, sticking out her hand. Kate shook it.

"Good to meet you. So how you holdin up?" She asked, to make conversation.

"Fine, considering." Kate nodded.

"I think I'm going to take some empty bottles and get water from the caves. Wanna come?"

"Sure!" Dusty replied excitedly.

"So, why didn't you move to the caves?" Dusty asked as she walked behind Kate through the trees. After a pause, Kate replied.

"Same reason as everyone else. I wanna be there if someone comes."

Dusty sensed Kate was not the type to give up much personal information, so she only asked a few light questions, such as her hometown, if she had siblings or pets. She was the kind of person that loved getting to know new people. But, they soon came into view of the caves, and the waterfall close by. Dusty stopped and gaped at it. It was beautiful. But Kate jerked her from her reverie by asking for help with the water. She complied, of course, and crouched by Kate at the waterfall to fill up bottles. Dusty noticed how her new friend glanced over her shoulder every now and then, to scan the cave grounds.

"He must be at the beach or in the jungle hunting." said Dusty.

"What?"

"Jack, I don't think he's here."

"What makes you think I was looking for him?"

Dusty just cast a look at her, and Kate gave up. "Okay, so maybe I was. How could you tell?"

"I just know." Dusty replied mysteriously, with a crazy grin.

They'd returned to the beach, and from a distance, Dusty noted that Kate had found Jack on the beach and was engaged in a conversation. But, as she watched, Jack, as usual, was called away by his duties, and almost immediately, Sawyer strolled up to her from out of nowhere.

"Hey there Freckles."

"What do you want, Sawyer?"

"Just wanted to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." Kate snapped quickly. Lately, Sawyer's remarks and antics haven't amused her as they'd begun to.

"So, we don't have to talk. I'm happy just to see your pretty face again. You know, I've been thinking about our kiss."

Kate's jaw dropped in shock. They'd had an uneasy truce since the incident, and an unspoken agreement between them to just let it go. But, she should've known Sawyer couldn't let something like that just drop. In her silence, Sawyer spoke.

"In ideal conditions, who knows what would've happened."

"In ideal conditions, it wouldn't have happened at all." She shot back, and stormed away, angry, as is always the case when talking with the southern con man.

"Ooh, shot down." Dusty's voice called sardonically from behind him. Sawyer turned to see her grinning madly at him. He narrowed his eyes momentarily, a slight sliver of anger slicing inside him, but it was replaced with a smirk as he took in her form in front of him.

"I'm usually the only one who lurks around here. I don't like you horning in on my territory."

"What's wrong, afraid of a little competition?"

"Hell no." Sawyer replied enthusiastically, then after a pause smirked and asked, "Are you?"

"What would I have to compete for?" She asked in confusion, and Sawyer just raised his eyebrows and gestured to his body. "That's ridiculous." Dusty scoffed and replied fervently.

"Oh, but not so much as you'd like me to think. You're jealous of Kate. That's why you came over here, isn't it?"

"Why would I be jealous of her? Oh wait, she's got the attention of the sexiest guy on the island…the doctor." Dusty said slowly, with more than a little contempt. Sawyer read the danger in her eyes, but disregarded it, and continued playfully, mockingly hurt.

"That's cold."

"What's cold is trying to convince me I'm jealous of a girl who doesn't want anything to do with you. Nice try, Sawyer. Better luck next time." Dusty snapped suddenly, a little heat rising to her cheeks, and she turned on her heel and left him with a cloud of confusion, regret, and anger.

After successfully calming herself down after her conversation with Sawyer, Dusty sat in the sand and watched the castaways on the beach. They sat and talked, some slept, some sat alone, some waded into the water. Since Claire was obviously sleeping or unavailable, Charlie sat in the sand as well, watching the waves, holding his guitar in his lap, absentmindedly fingering the strings. He loved that guitar, Dusty could tell. It was the only thing of his past that he had. A memento of the times he'd been someone. A reminder of the rush of performing, the noise of the people. He closed his eyes and imagined the crashing of the waves was really a hall full of screaming fans.

If might have been the desire for something to do rather than sit and let her mind wander onto the past, or it might have been the desire to make a positive impact on someone else's life in these terrible conditions. But either way, Dusty left her warm, comfortable spot to walk over and stand above Charlie.

"Hey." She said, to inform him of her presence.

"Oh, hello." He said, somewhat startled. She sat next to him.

"Charlie, right?"

"Yea."

"Dusty. I've got this song stuck in my head and I don't remember what it's called. It goes..." She hummed the tune to him, and he lit up.

"Oh! Yeah I know that one!"

"Think you can play it for me?"

"Hm, I'm not sure." He struck a few chords, and pieced together some of the lines. Dusty beamed and sang a few lines with him. She smiled at the look on his face as he played. He was absolutely buoyant.

Claire sat silently next to Dusty and smiled as she watched him play. Charlie was so swept up that he didn't notice her until he looked up at Dusty and saw Claire next to her.

"Oh, Claire, hey."

"Aw, don't stop." She whined, and he laughed and picked up the tune again. Eventually, a few more people gathered around him and called out requests. He couldn't play them all, but he satisfied more than a few. Dusty slipped away unnoticed. She was still beaming as she thought about it walking back to her the signal fire. She hummed the tune as she placed a few branches on it. She meandered along the beach, and didn't particularly notice the man leaning against the tree at the edge of the jungle a few dozen yards from camp until she was nearly on top of him. Before she could turn and leave, he spoke.

"Come to apologize?"

"For what?" She asked, immediately recognizing Sawyer's voice and was hooked, pulled in by his remark.

"For snapping at me."

"It didn't snap. But if I did, it wasn't unprovoked. And I'm not sorry, because I was simply letting you know what kind of person you are."

"Really, and what kind of person am I?"

"Selfish." She responded immediately, and, seeing the clouds roll by Sawyer's blue eyes, though his smirk remained, she realized the situation was turning potentially explosive. Something Dusty did not desire. So, she pocketed the words she'd thought up to spit at him. Hoping the tense conversation would diffuse on its own in a moment of silence, she sat next to him, staring out into the ocean.

"So where did you learn to do those things that you do?" He asked in vague terms, but she understood he meant her tumbling. She smiled, glad someone finally asked about her.

"I was on the high school cheerleading team for four years." She grinned mischievously as a remark crossed her mind and looked to him with a glint in her eye. "I'm naturally limber." She commented suggestively, with a waggle of her eyebrows. Sawyer raised a brow and smirked.

"Good God, you're nearly as inappropriate as me."

Dusty rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Lord help me."

The sun had begun to set as Dusty sat in the sand and stared out at the horizon. A random memory that had been hanging in the back of her mind suddenly jumped forth as if seeing the opportunity of empty space in her mind, and was afraid another might not arise. The island scenery was replaced by a screen of remembrance behind her eyes, and she was sent back to her brother's apartment, only a few weeks ago.

"_Okay, we'll be back next Wednesday." Dusty said as she rushed around the room with her luggage, setting things next to her brother's bedside. He lay in his bed sniffling, breathing through his mouth, with a look on his face as if he were about to die any moment. Dusty stopped at the door and looked back to him. Leaving her luggage in the doorway, she sat on the edge of his bed and brushed the hair from his eyes._

"_Don't worry, big brother. I'm sure they're doing okay. Mandy's mom is taking good care of them, and you'll be with them soon. Everything'll be okay. You'll see. Things have a way of working themselves out for people who deserve it. And I can't imagine anyone deserving things working out more than you."_

"_If I deserved things working out, my life wouldn't be a mess right now. My wife wouldn't have left me, and she'd be alive helping me take care of our family." Jake ranted vehemently. Dusty just looked at him. He sighed. "I'm sorry."_

"_No, don't apologize. I know how hard it must be. But once you've got Amy and Braydon back, you can console each other, and things will be much better." Dusty plugged her nose as she leaned down to kiss his forehead. Jake wanted to chuckle, but it came out as a whooping cough. _

"_Figures you're the one who could make me laugh today."_

"_I love you, Jake. I'll be back soon with Amy and Braydon." She said as she made to the door. She stopped before closing it and said back to him, "It'll be okay."_

"Hey Pip." Sawyer called as he swaggered over to her. She started, snapping from her memory to look at him in front of her.

"Oh, Sawyer, hi." She replied, unenthusiastically.

"Don't sound so excited to see me." He drawled sarcastically, and sat beside her in the sand.

"Pardon me for not jumping around in delight, but you don't really give me anything to be thrilled about." Dusty snapped, unsure of the reason for her touchiness, but not caring. It felt good to be mean.

"Now, Pipsqueak, that's just not nice." He said, seemingly unthreatening, but she could read all too well the underlying anger that was building up and would spill loose if she kept up her provocation.

"Sawyer, why should I care if I'm nice to you or not?" She would've gone on, but caught a glimpse of someone approaching. It was Claire.

"Hey, sorry. This might not be the best time, but... Dusty, you said your last name was Mitchell, right?" Dusty nodded. "Well, this says Amy Mitchell on the foot. I wasn't sure if it was a relation." Claire said timidly, knowing very well the meaning of the token she was holding out to Dusty.

A doll. A dirty, porcelain doll with a soft body and pink dress and shoes. Her curly blonde hair was mussed and matted, but her eyes shone, still ever so blue. Just like Amy's. Dusty took it cautiously.

"Thanks." She remembered to mumble softly after a moment, and Claire nodded in understanding, and turned to walk away. Sawyer looked curiously at Dusty, who held the doll gently in her hands, staring at it with the saddest expression he'd ever seen.

"Who's Amy?" Sawyer said warily, knowing the intimacy of the moment he was witnessing, but too curious to leave and give her privacy she needed.

"Who was Amy?" Dusty corrected, in a wavering voice. "Amy was my… my…niece." Hardly had the word left her mouth, and she stood. She mumbled something like, "I have to go." and wandered away from him.

Sawyer watched her dejected form walk to the edge of the jungle and sit alone in the shade, studying the doll delicately in her fingers.

_She weaved through the mass of people packing the airport terminal, fresh off the flight from the States. They all hurried off to their separate destinations, but Dusty lingered. They were supposed to meet her here. She craned her neck and swiveled about, searching for them. A man who seemed to be in a large hurry with two large duffel bags from both his shoulders rammed into her, knocking her bags from her arms and causing her to stumble backward. She glared at him, but he took no notice of her. So, she said a few choice words under her breath and stooped to gather up her things. And, by chance, a gap in the people appeared, and Dusty saw an old, kindly looking woman, with her arms around two young children standing at either side. _

_Dusty's face grew from angry and flustered to quiet and serene. They hadn't spotted her yet, and she could tell they were looking. She just knelt there, on the airport carpet, with the people bustling beside her, watching them look for her. Then Braydon's face lit as their eyes met. She couldn't hear him above the roar of the people, but she read his lips as they called, 'Aunt Dusty!' _

_He ran for her, despite the elderly woman's good intentional protests, and the little girl on the other side of her shot off after her brother. Dusty opened her arms for them to come crashing to her. She held Braydon's little body close to her, and kissed his shirt, his hair, his face. He giggled furiously and clung to her neck. Dusty wrapped her arm around Amy as she collided with her. She kissed the girl's forehead and her nose, and observed little tears in her big blue eyes. Amy sobbed into her chest, and Dusty propped her up on her knee. _

"_Oh, baby girl." Dusty whispered, her voice choked as she stroked the little girl's hair. "How are ya chicken pie?" She asked Braydon in her arms, with a wavering smile._

Dusty gasped as her eyes flew open in the night. Damn! She'd fallen asleep. Something she'd made a point not to do, since dreams like the one she'd just had would visit her. Memories. Though her body was tired, her mind was reeling. Claire giving her the doll yesterday was too much for her to handle. It brought back too many intense feelings. Love, hope. Things she'd lost after the crash. Things she hadn't thought much about until yesterday. It was probably the shock of the crash wearing off. Dammit. Shock felt good compared to what she felt now. Empty, lonely, desperate, sad…the list went on.

Her feet took her down to the beach, where the crash of the waves and the whisper of the wind seemed to call Amy and Braydon's names. That wouldn't do. So, her feet took her numbly to the edge of the jungle, far down from camp. It was quieter, but still she craved silence. Maybe if the wind wouldn't rustle the palm trees in such a way that reminded her of home, and her family, she would be able to sleep in peace, without beautiful memories haunting her doomed life.

She returned to camp just before daybreak, so as not to arouse suspicion. After eating breakfast, she wandered off again, and found a piece of heavily packed sand just out of view of camp down the beach. Just to keep her mind, she did a few handstands before splitting her legs and shifting over her head back onto her feet. She bent backward and kicked her leg over her head to the other side. Then she stood still for a while in preparation. Suddenly, she jumped and threw herself backward onto her hands, then sprung over onto her feet again. Sawyer applauded as he strolled up to her. How is it that he always seemed to be around?

"How 'bout givin me some lessons, Pipsqueak?"

"Sorry, I charge now."

"Name your price, I'm bound to have something you want."

"Oh right, in your stash? What if I asked for asthma medicine? Would you hold out for a kiss?" The amusement on his face fell, and he looked almost dangerous. But Dusty was not about to back out. She'd been thinking long and hard about him, and recalled everything she'd ever heard about him, and made some further inquiries. This incident had only just come to her attention, and she was determined to confront him about it, since hearing it and thinking about it burnt her blood. "Yeah, I know about that."

"Island gossip travels fast." Sawyer replied nonchalantly, if not a bit ashamed.

"Not surprisingly. But don't worry, I won't hold it against you. I'll just accept jerk as part of your personality and deal with it. Everyone else already hates you enough."

"How generous of you." He spat, and turned to walk away.

"Sawyer!" She called, and he stopped and turned back to her. "I just want to know why."

"Everyone wants to know why." He said angrily, and walked back to her. "Why'd you lie about having the medicine, Sawyer? Do you want people to hate you?" He mocked, but Dusty interrupted him.

"I meant why you came over here."

Sawyer seemed taken aback for a moment, but quickly replaced the cocky grin on his face. "I wanna get to know you."

"You first." She replied seriously, attempting to pry some information about himself from him. But Sawyer just grinned wider.

"I'd be glad to show you." He said, in his typically sly manner. Dusty just rolled her eyes, but couldn't suppress the tugging of the grin on the corners of her lips.

* * *

That was a long chapter. And ARGH! The preview for next week's episode is killing me! Someone dies! At first, I was about to have a heart attack because I was worried it might be Jack. I swore if they killed Jack I would completely stop watching the show and go into a state of deep depression crying and not exiting my room for at least a week. But then I realized Jack was one of the people helping carry the body bag. So, that was out. I was definitely relieved. But it still could be Claire or Charlie…ugh…I can't talk about this anymore, I'm going to give myself the hiccups.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own LOST. Only Dusty.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I need you all to keep it up, I can't write if I don't have encouragement!

-Austin B.


	5. Reflections

Chapter 5 - Reflections

Jack walked around camp, passing out water bottles, gathering empties, generally making sure everyone was as healthy as possible in such conditions. Kate watched him for a while, the tired, haggard appearance he attempted to hide was clear as day to her, and it was worrisome. But his tender demeanor still shone through, and it was like a magnet. She always was one to go for the typical bad boys, not unlike Sawyer, but just look at how all those relationships turned out. And Jack was just…he was different. Not a selfish bone in his entire, toned, tan, tattooed body. Kate found herself smiling as she thought of him, and decided she couldn't just watch him from afar. She needed to be close to him.

"Don't you ever stop?" She questioned, as she drew near to him. He turned to face her, pleasantly surprised to see her.

"Stop what?"

"Doing what you do. Going back and forth checking up on people. Taking care of everyone."

"If I did, someone could die."

"If you don't, you could die." Said Kate, somewhat playful, though her eyes were more serious and concerned than he thought he'd ever seen her be for him. He turned away from her, embarrassed she could read the weariness in him. Chills shot down his spine when he felt her soft touch on his arm. "Jack, you have to take care of yourself, too. Who knows what would happen if we didn't have you here."

"I can't just stop. People need me, now."

"Let someone help you, Jack. You don't need to be personally responsible for all these people."

"What am I supposed to do? Let a business manager and a construction worker stitch people's wounds and diagnose their ailments?" Jack asked in a hushed tone, low and somewhat angry. Kate clenched her jaw and set her lip into a hard line. Jack immediately read the expression, and it cooled his temper. "I'm sorry. I guess I am a little tired."

"My diagnosis exactly. See, this doctor thing can't be that hard." Kate said sarcastically, making Jack chuckle and look to his feet, so the laughter that sparkled in her eyes and lit up her smile wouldn't make his knees buckle beneath him.

"If only that was all there was to it." He said dejectedly after a chuckle at Kate's joke.

"I know these people lean pretty heavily on you. They just want someone to tell them what to do. I don't know what it is about you that makes them feel comfortable putting themselves in your hands. Maybe it's your confidence or your profession. Or maybe it's your eyes." Kate put her hand on his cheek so he'd look up at her. She hadn't initially meant to leave it there. But the warmth and surprising softness of his skin dazed her. She smiled and drew away quickly, cursing herself for allowing the intimacy to creep back between them. No matter how hard she tried to keep them at bay, and how much she promised herself she'd forget about it, the butterflies and the blushes kept coming back when he was around.

Jack smiled a dazzling smile at her, and Kate decided maybe she should just let it be for now.

* * *

A lone figure stood, still and silent as a statue, in the distance on the beach, looking out to the horizon. Dusty had picked this certain spot on the horizon to study. She memorized the colors in her mind as they splayed and blurred into each other. She stared so long, she imagined she saw a ship sailing to them. But, she blinked once, and the mirage was gone. 

"Hey, Pipsqueak." Sawyer said quietly as he came to stand next to her, looking out at her horizon.

"What do you want, Sawyer?" She said after a sigh. Not angrily, just tired.

"Can't a guy watch the ocean? This is the best spot, I hear. The only place you get the reflection of the sunset like that." He offered, and guessed she knew it was a lie. She did, of course, but didn't contest his company. Dusty was silent, though Sawyer chanced a glance over at her after a moment, and saw her eyes closed. He cocked his head and pondered.

"What are you always thinking about?" He asked, and Dusty smiled. There was a softness in his voice that hadn't been there before.

"I'm trying not to think about anything. But it's been getting harder and harder." She revealed. Dusty opened her eyes and looked at him. "Do you even know my real name?" She asked quite suddenly.

"Sure, I do." He said simply, not offering any further explanation. She nodded, actually believing and trusting his word, and didn't ask him to say it.

When the sun had sunk well below, and the stars became visible, they were sitting. Sawyer had leaned back with his hands behind his head. Dusty guessed he was sleeping. She looked at his face, peacefully unconscious. It seemed that when he was awake, the rigors of this island life wrought shadows on his face, and the effort he took to conceal his worries had hardened his blue eyes, and stitched some unidentifiable weariness into his dimpled smile. Others may have interpreted it as the typical coldness of his personality, but Dusty suffered from the same condition. Though hers was newer, and she hadn't mastered the art of concealing it as well, she wasn't sure she even had the strength to try.

He wore a pair of destroyed jeans, and a dirty white T shirt. His shaggy blonde hair hung over his eyes. Dusty imagined the typical grin he wore that made him look juvenile and mischievous. It was charming, she admitted, but the serenity that enveloped him under the moonlight, with the waves lulling him deeper into sleep made him look innocent. Something she would never have imagined Sawyer could possibly look. It makes sense that it would happen when he wasn't even trying. The thought of brushing his hair from his face crossed her mind, but Dusty instead stood and walked away from him, recalling the horrible things Kate had told her he'd done, and the things she'd overheard from others around camp. From the things she'd heard, it was no wonder that everyone's opinion of him was so low.

But it confused her, the Sawyer that Kate and the others interpreted, and the Sawyer that presented himself in front of her. She knew he hadn't come over to stand by her to watch the sunset. He wanted to be near her. Maybe he didn't want her to be alone. Someone who did that couldn't possibly have done the things she'd overheard and been told about while walking and making friends around camp. The things that Kate reluctantly recited for her when she'd inquired about him.

A deep desire to be away from the sorrows of the beach, and the memories the singing waves brought to her. She cast a longing glance at the jungle. The solitude that would match what she felt inside, rather than the façade she felt the need to put up for others and for herself, to keep her mind from the terrors that nagged deep in her subconscious. The terrors in the back of her thoughts that she worked so hard to keep away.

But the jungle held terrors that were worse for her at that time. She hadn't found peace, she couldn't die yet. But, she feared, the only way to find peace would be to venture into the jungle, find silence and solitude and let those emotional terrors flood her and run their course out of her. A more terrible thought then came to her. Maybe, the only way to find peace, was to die.

She sat by the edge of the jungle, looking into it, rather than to the horizon, and felt the sun rise behind her, warm on her back. But the feeling didn't give her the warm pleasure she expected it would have. Her inside was still cold.

_Her sock feet padded noiselessly down the hall, toward the light that shone through the barely cracked open door. But, before she reached out to open the door, she heard voices. It was kindly old Mrs. Thomas. Dusty set her eye to the crack, and saw them kneeling at Braydon's bed, hands clasped._

"_Dear God, thank you for all my blessings and for keeping me and Amy and Grama Thomas safe. Please help my daddy through these times that are hard for him, and please let him know how much me and my sister love him and miss him. Oh, and thank you for sending Aunt Dusty to us. She makes us feel safe and loved and we love her back. Amen."_

"_Very good, now into bed you go." Mrs. Thomas ushered him beneath the covers, and Dusty leaned her back against the wall, attempting to breath deeply and quell the tears that sprung to her eyes. She cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest when Mrs. Thomas exited. The warm old woman smiled at her, and touched her arm before leaving to her own bed. She reached out her hand and the door creaked open._

_Across the hall, after tucking Braydon in, Dusty paused to hear Amy sniffling. She entered, and sat on the edge of her bed, stroking her hair._

"_Why are you crying, sweetie?"_

"_I miss mommy."_

"_Oh," Dusty cooed, and laid next to her, cuddling her close to her body, "I know it's hard, baby girl, but she's not really gone. You can talk to her whenever you want. And you've got your daddy, too, and he loves you very, very much."_

"_And we've got you."_

"_Yes, of course you've got me." Dusty chuckled._

"_And you'll always be with us, right?"_

"_Always and forever."_

"_Promise?"_

_Dusty paused to look through the darkness into Amy's shining blue eyes. "Promise." _

She wasn't sure how long it was, but she listened to the sounds of the people rising. She felt the melancholy fill the air as they woke from sweet dreams of home and recalled bitter reality.

As she'd taken to doing lately, her mind wandered far beyond the reaches of her body. To the day she'd boarded the flight with those two young twins. She remembered the sound of the woman calling out the flight number perfectly. And yet, she somehow had forgotten everything about the airport. The color of the carpet, the walls, nothing. Only boarding the plane, she remembered the shiver that ran through her.

"Dusty?"

Dusty startled from her reverie to see Claire beside her, holding a leaf of breakfast. She smiled and took it.

"Thanks."

"No problem. I wanted to say thanks for what you did yesterday. For Charlie. It made him really happy."

"Well, I just don't know what you mean." Dusty smiled coyly, glad for the distraction of conversation. Claire chatted with her for a while, and smiled in thanks once more before leaving. The goodness that emanated from the pregnant woman was overwhelming. Dusty grinned and shook her head as she picked at her breakfast, not feeling very hungry.

Dusty looked around for someone, unsure of who. It was only when her searching eyes found Sawyer's figure lying in the tent he'd made that she realized it was he whom she was looking for. She chided herself, but gazed over at him, still. He was sleeping. Probably catching up on the sleep he'd lost the night before, from staying up late with her. He was a mystery. An ass hole one minute, and sensitive and caring the next. But, she decided not to ponder on it. She walked around camp, talking to people.

She'd met everyone already, knew all their full names and favorite colors. She'd spent most of her time and energy in getting to know people. It was something she liked to do, and kept herself occupied. She even felt like she was helping, because there was something about the conversations she held with people that made them feel a little more normal. She talked with Shannon for a minute, about how the polish on her nails was beginning to chip, but soon became irritated with her, and had to excuse herself.

Rose sat away from the rest, as had become her custom, staring into the sea. Dusty smiled. She liked Rose. The woman was wise, and had so much faith. So she sat next to her and talked, conversation flowing so freely.

"You haven't been sleeping." Rose commented, quite off the topic.

"Is it that obvious?" Dusty asked, after getting over the initial shock of the observation.

"Not to most. But I've seen the way you are. Never let yourself a moment to think if you can help it. Always needing something to do, to keep yourself occupied." Rose looked intently at the younger woman's face. "But you can't keep busy forever. Reality can't stay at bay much longer. If you don't start easing yourself into it now, it'll all crash on you at once. I know it's hard, to remember. But it's those memories of the past that keep me sane."

Dusty smiled, thinking just how sane Rose really was. Sitting alone all the time, maintaining that her husband was alive, even though he was in the tail, just like Amy and Braydon.

"Thanks, Rose." Dusty said, standing to leave, not liking the way their conversation had turned.

"Hold on, dear. I have something for you." She reached into the bag beside her, procuring two knitting needles and a ball of yarn. "I found these. You need them more than I do. Perhaps they'll keep you just busy enough to let everything sink in to you slowly." Dusty slowly took the gift from Rose's gentle hands, and stared at it. She ran her finger over the pointed tip of the metal needle, not letting herself make the complete thought, but in the back of her mind, imagining the many grim uses the cold metal instrument could have.

* * *

I was totally stressed through the entire episode tonight. I squeezed my mom's hand the whole time. Good Lord, I was so scared Jack was going to die. Or Sawyer or Charlie or Claire...think of how horrible that would've been. But, crisis averted, no one important dies. Only Ethan, after he killed that innocent castaway. Scott. Not Steve. Poor guy.

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - Thank you for being such an avid and loyal reviewer!

**A Wandering Minstrel** - Wow, thanks very much, that is a great compliment! I'm always worried about the characterization and how well I'll write for other characters that aren't to review! 

**Pink Pinker** - I don't know if you've watched it yet, but you were right, Ethan dies. PS Thanks for reviewing!

**Freckles-101** - We can sleep easy at night now. Jack is safe. WHEW!And in answer to your question, Dusty is around 24, I think. I'm sorry I never really stated it clearly in the story, I just sort of assumed everyone would see her how I see her in my head. How old did you picture her?

-Austin B.


	6. Blind Leading The Blind

Chapter 6 - Blind Leading The Blind

It was afternoon, and Dusty had stolen Kate from her busy day. Of all on the island, Dusty figured she would want Kate as a friend back in the real world. She was responsible yet playful. Funny, and understanding. All qualities Dusty admired in a friend. Though she held dark secrets that she revealed to none. Dusty decided that it didn't matter. She never asked her about them, which is probably why Kate enjoyed being around her, too. She didn't pry, in return for not being pried into. She and Kate were talking of other things, but both watching Charlie and Claire talking on the beach. Dusty finally spoke what both were thinking.

"Charlie and Claire." She said, shaking her head with a smile.

"He's sure got it bad, don't he?" Kate remarked.

"Yeah. I've been seeing a lot of that around here." Said Dusty knowingly, with a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell me you haven't seen it?" Dusty asked, deciding not to confront her so blatantly with the emotions she'd read in her friend's eyes.

"Seen what?" Kate asked innocently.

"Jack." Dusty said, as if that would explain everything. Kate just furrowed her brow.

"Don't play dumb with me, Kate. I know you're smarter than that. You had to have noticed the way he looks at you."

Kate smiled in embarrassment and looked to her feet. Of course, she'd hoped it was true, but decided to argue, anyway. "It's not like that with me and Jack. We have more important things out here, like surviving, than playing the Island Dating Game. Besides, Jack's too busy carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders to even think about me that way." Kate reasoned.

"Perhaps you could lighten the load." Dusty suggested.

"I've tried helping him. He won't let me."

"Huh...remind you of anyone?" Said Dusty, referring to Kate herself. Kate scowled playfully at her. "I'm just saying I think you two could help each other. You've both taken it upon yourselves to ensure the survival of this mass of people. And I know he'll listen to you." Dusty said the last sentence quieter, with a deeper meaning than it would have held to any other.

Dusty made use of the knitting needles Rose had given her hours earlier, and recalled every knitting, purling, and ribbing lesson her Grandmother had ever given her. The dingy white yarn now made a several inch long scrap of material hanging from the metal needles. She sat with her back against a tree, looking out to the empty beach, with camp on her left. She concentrated on the work in her hands, pleasantly surprised to find something so simple to be so calming, not to mention mind absorbing. But once her fingers had gotten the hang of it, and once her mind recalled the process enough, she found herself not needing to concentrate so much on the task, and her thoughts wandering off, asthey often had.

"_Thanks, Mrs. Thomas, for taking such good care of them." Dusty said sincerely to the older woman in front of her._

"_There's no need to thank me, Dusty. It was a Grandmother's duty when her family is in trouble." The woman looked kindly upon her, as the children played in the grass nearby._

"_I know you must've heard this a million times and…it must have pretty much lost all meaning to you, especially since I never was really close to Mandy, but…I'm very sorry for your loss."_

"_You're right. I have heard it a million times." Mrs. Thomas smiled kindly, thanking her with her expressive eyes. Dusty smiled back._

"_We better get going. Don't want to miss our flight."_

"_Oh goodness, no. You get those children back to their father. And don't worry, my dear. Time heals all wounds. Just be sure they don't forget her."_

"_Oh, that would be impossible." Dusty hugged the woman._

"_Don't be a stranger." Mrs. Thomas smiled warmly, and Dusty returned it before calling for the children._

"_Amy, Braydon, come give Grandma Thomas a hug goodbye." They complied, and held Dusty's hand as they walked to the cab that sat waiting for them. Dusty cast a glance over her shoulder at the old woman watching them walk away, with the gentle smile warming the aura about her. She couldn't help but feel as if she'd never see a person so overflowing with kindness._

She sensed a presence near her, and looked up to find Sawyer approaching. She made a face, but Sawyer did not miss the sparkle in her eyes upon seeing him.

"Whatcha doin there Pipsqueak?" He asked as he stood above her.

"Knitting." She answered, keeping her eyes on her work.

"Oh yeah? What?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Mind if I sit?"

"Like I can stop you." She replied immediately and sarcastically, just as he'd expected. He sat, and watched the beach, listening to the soft scrape of her metal needles against each other.

"So what're you doing here Sawyer?" She asked as she knit.

"I was just looking for something to do."

Before she could fully think the comment through, it had escaped her smiling lips. "Well, here I am." How was it that her mouth always slipped when she was around Sawyer? It seemed as if her mind wasn't working at all. She scoffed in disbelief at her involuntary remark, and noticed the grin on his face. Reverting to her former self for a single moment on the dreary island, she made her jokes in the face of an embarrassing situation.

"Good God I'm nearly as vulgar as you."

"Lord help us."

Dusty grinned, watching Sawyer's face as he laughed. The first real, true laugh she'd ever heard from him. And for hearing it, she no longer regretted her vulgar joke that'd invoked such a sound from him. The dimples that formed on his cheeks, and the devilish glint in his blue eyes. When their smiles faded, she studied him still, and realized the moment was becoming awkward.

Sawyer watched her right back in perplexity. She could sure shoot back a comment at him just as quick as he could give it. She reminded him of Kate.He surprised himself with the thought. Sure, Dusty and Kate shared certain general similarities, but Sawyer felt like he knew Dusty too well to compare her to anyone else on the face of the planet. She was too unique, too herself to be put in a category with anyone, even if that someone was Freckles. Though both were infuriatingly stubborn, a trait which he himself shared, Kate had gotten it into her head that she was going to be the one to whom he'd open up to, just because she shared a few things in common with him. And, yes, he might have felt a connection with her. He sensed her seclusion and identified with it. But that ship had long since sailed. Kate belonged to the doctor anyway. And that thought didn't bother him as much as he thought it would.

Andthen there was Dusty, whoknew how to let things be. What issues to let lie, and what ones to address. Sure, she had burdens from her past, too, he could see it in her behavior and read it in her eyes. But she knew what to say to lift the tension, to say things so light and inappropriate for the dire situation that they were even funnier. And she contradicted him. She scolded him, guilted him into wanting to do better, and feeling bad for things he'd done. Just the goodness in her presence made him regret the liar and cheater he'd become. In her he saw what good a person could do, and how much pain and burdens a friend could lighten off a friend's shoulders.

* * *

When the distraction known as Sawyer had left her, Dusty sat, looking out at those hated waves. Bright blue eyes, the color of the sea, flashed before her. Soft, new skin, and choppy hair, from their curious run in with the scissors. Toothy grins. Hiccupping laughs. The way Amy squeezed her hand when they stepped onto the plane. 

"_Don't worry, baby. You've flown before, it'll be just like the last time." She'd reassured the nervous girl. Dusty tried hard to mask her nervousness, and even placed her hand on Amy's head instead, so she wouldn't feel her hands sweating. She should've gotten off the plane right then. But she chalked it up to air jitters. She should've known._

Dusty turned at a noise in the sand and gasped in surprise to see Locke standing next to her.

"Jiminy Cricket!" She exclaimed. "Locke, you're so quiet, you scared me half to death!"

"Sorry."

"You'll have to come back for the other half later." She chuckled grimly, but Locke didn't crack a smile. Dusty looked at him for a moment, then back out to sea. She heard him sit next to her, and without looking at each other again, he spoke.

"I was once driving down a straight stretch of deserted Nevada highway 116, and I came across a speed limit sign that read 18 mph. Flat terrain, road straight as a pin, you could see not a car for miles. So, like the average young person, I sped up. And then, as fate always has its way of surprising you, a jack rabbit jumped out in front of my car. I stomped on the brakes and swerved, doing doughnuts in the middle of the highway. And when my car came to a stop I thought, 'Oh, so that's why the limit was 18.'" Dusty looked at him, and he looked at her. "Mostly, people know what they're talking about. And things are there for a reason. The trouble is deciding when to go with the flow of things, and when to fight. When to ask questions."

After a pause, in which she mulled over his cryptic message, Dusty turned to him. "You're a very mysterious man, do you know that?"

"I've been told."

She attempted to see past the stoic façade of his blue eyes, but it was impossible. "Thank you." Was all she said, and he nodded, stood, and was gone, as quickly and silently as he had come.

* * *

**Freckles-101** - I never abandon stories…I couldn't do that to my readers! I'm glad you're liking this! 

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - Love you back!

**DemonQueen666, Pink Pinker**

-Austin B.


	7. Revealing Conversations

Chapter 7 - Revealing Conversations

"Jack," Kate called to get his attention. He was crouching over some task in the caves, and walked a few paces to where she stood outside.

"Yeah, Kate, what is it?"

"I'm worried about Dusty." She began frankly.

"Dusty? Why? She's one of the halfway normal ones here."

"That's just it. She's trying too hard. She's hiding something."

"So are we all. Why do you feel the need to pry it from her?"

"She's volatile. Something seems off with her. I don't know what she could do."

"Okay, if you think so, go talk to her about it." Jack acquiesced.

"I'm not gonna get your help on this?" She asked in disappointment.

"Kate, I've got to go see someone who impaled their foot on a stick, and check on Dawson's rash yet."

Kate nodded and recalled Dusty's words. She and Jack could help each other. So, Kate smiled, "It doesn't take a doctor to clean and dress a cut," and took the bandages from Jack's hand, her fingers lingering on his a moment longer than necessary.

* * *

"How about…James?" Charlie suggested. 

"Mm…no."

"Paul?"

"No."

"Frank?"

Claire wrinkled her nose. "No way." Charlie laughed.

"Alright, how about Nicholas?"

"What does it mean?"

He shrugged his shoulders. Claire rolled her eyes. "I told you before I want a name that means something."

"What do you want it to mean?"

Claire shrugged her shoulders. Charlie grinned. "You're not givin me much to go on."

Claire just smiled faintly. She leaned back on her hands, and felt a rock in the sand. She took it in her hands and fiddled with it in front of her.

"I keep thinking about the future." She said suddenly, her demeanor changing from calm and happy to worried and scared in a moment. "I can't keep going on talking so lightly with you, pretending like this is normal. There are so many things I'm scared about."

"I'm here." He said softly, setting his hands on her knees.

"These are no conditions for a baby, Charlie. I just don't know what's gonna happen to him. Or me."

"Don't worry. We've got a great doctor. And then there's me." He grinned, making the sorrow lighten from Claire's blue eyes for a moment.

"I just feel so cut off. I mean, I'm the only one here who knows how I feel, you know?"

"Well, tell me how you feel."

"I wish it was that simple. Let's see…I feel, scared, you know that one already. I feel hopeless, desperate, useless, deserted, and…alone." Claire looked up from her hands to Charlie's captivated face. She read the thought in his eyes. "And don't tell me I'm not alone. I know you're here, but…" She trailed off, not knowing the words to express what she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him everything she felt, so he'd understand why she couldn't return his feelings right now. So she could unload all her pent up anxiety. But, Charlie just took her hands, which were still fiddling with the stone she'd picked up from the sand behind her.

"We can be alone together. How about it?"

Something about the tone in his voice as he said that, made her smile. Made her feel like everything would be alright.

"I'd like that."

* * *

Kate meandered the beach. The thought she'd thrown around in her mind, the one that sparked her curiosity and a elicited a small hint of jealousy in her gut finally became too much. So, her feet took her quickly up to Sawyer's tent, where he was sitting outside in a chair, with his bare feet dug into the sand, sunning himself. He lifted one eyelid enough to get a glimpse of her standing, her arms folded across her chest, in front of him, and shut it again. 

"Come to visit me, Freckles?"

"Ha. You wish."

"Come to yell at me a little? Betcha that always makes you feel better."

"Actually I came to ask you something."

"Ooh, this oughta be good." He said, mockingly giddy, sitting upright in his chair, leaning forward onto his knees in rapture.

"Why are you spending so much time with Dusty?"

"Why not? Jealous?" Sawyer answered lightly, trying far too hard to belittle the connection he felt with Dusty.

"Not in the least. But I've seen her open up to you, and I don't want her getting any false ideas and hopes about you or your intentions with her."

"You really think the only reason I spend time with her is to get some?" He asked, brow raised skeptically, though his blue eyes hinted anger. She didn't respond. "Well, thanks for all your trust in me, and I'm sorry to disappoint your expectations, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I enjoy her company? Are you angry that I spend more time with her than with you?" He asked, pouting his lips mockingly. "You shouldn't be, you have the doctor to fall back on." He spat.

"Nothing you say gets to me anymore, Sawyer. I just want the truth from you. I don't want Dusty to get hurt. I care about her."

"Well so do I!" He bellowed, standing so quickly from his chair that it tipped over behind him. He huffed in front of her, so close she could see the malice in his eyes. Satisfied and unfazed, she turned and walked away from him before he could go back onhis statement,or make excuses for his angry confession.

* * *

Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry. -Henry Ward Beecher

I've finished this story already! It's just waiting to be posted. And, I'm putting the finishing touches on another LOST story that came to me. It's called 7 Days in Paradise. And yes it all takes place in seven days. More about that to come when this story comes to a close, in about ten or eleven more chapters. Thanks for reviewing, and never ever stop! I need you guys! SUggestions always always welcome-kisses-

**Somebody, Anne** - Thanks to my two new reviewers! Please don't stop reviewing. I love hearing what you think, even if it's bad!

**Freckles-101** - Thanks tons!

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - No one really knows what Locke is ever talking about when he says it. But soon, it'll be clear.

**Pink Pinker** - lol Locke is so deep. It's hard to really know what he's thinking. But the stories he tells are so random and have nothing to do with anything, but in the end, it makes perfect sense. I love him because of it.

**A Wandering Minstrel** - Thanks! Someone in my class actually said they saw a speed limit sign somewhere that said something ridiculous like 18 mph, and a story was spurred. Random things like that said in class spark ideas in my mind and I just run with it and end up with something completely different.  
Oh, and I have been hooked on Sawyer since day one. Not quite sure why, but it's true. Glad to know you're with me!

Austin B.


	8. The Power of Silence

Chapter 8 - The Power of Silence

The sun lit up the blood vessels of her eyelids, filling her vision with red spots. She followed the pattern of colors and dots for a while, until she felt as if she would fall through the beach and off the face of the planet. So, sheopened her eyes andsought out a person to converse with. Sawyer was the first choice that popped into her head, but he was nowhere to be found. Jack and Kate were probably at the caves, and Dusty didn't want to interrupt them if they were together. Most of the people were napping or already engaged in conversation.

That was when her eyes fell across the blonde, bikini clad diva known as Shannon. She was sitting on her towel, looking out at the ocean. If it was anyone else, Dusty wouldn't have interrupted, figuring they were deep in thoughts. But it was Shannon. And Dusty didn't know her very well.

"You got the right idea," She began, sitting next to her. "If we're here, we might as well make the most of it. There's no time or place for me to tan in the city."

"I'm glad someone agrees with me. Everyone else just says I'm useless."

"Useless? That's ridiculous. What other incentive could Charlie have to learn to fish? And that benefited us all." Shannon grinned a twisted grin at her deviousness, but it was quickly wiped away, and she turned her eyes down, looking almost ashamed. "What're your plans for the day?" Dusty asked lightly.

"Tanning." The blonde narrowed her eyes at Dusty as she spoke, as if an involuntary motion to be suspicious, but then looked out to the ocean. "And thinking."

"Thinking, hey? What about?"

"What else? My life."

"What did you do, anyway?"

"I didn't do much of anything. I rode people's coat tails, and lied to cheat people out of money." Dusty nodded slowly, looking down the beach. "What did you do?"

Shannon's question came as a surprise. She didn't expect the other woman to be interested in someone else's life. She wouldn't have asked, had she known the curiosity would be reciprocated. Dusty got the distinct feeling it wasn't often something like this happened. And despite all the warnings inside her, she didn't want to let it slip away.

"Well, like most things, there's the simple story, and there's the real story. What one would you like?"

"The real story for 500, Alex." Shannon smiled, and Dusty was glad to see a real smile on her face, instead of the smug look she usually wore.

"Okay. So, I worked six days a week as a photographer for a science magazine called 'Science'…go figure. But about six months ago, it went under because it had like, seven subscribers. I was looking for another job in photography, but after four months of searching, I pretty much gave up. I was about to take an advertising job for a retail store when my brother's wife of ten years up and left him. And took their two kids to Australia with her. So I moved in with him to help him out. He took time off work, so we were both unemployed, he was bedridden, and I basically became his at home nurse. He was just starting to deal when we heard his wife had died in a car accident."

"Wow." Shannon said involuntarily. "I'm sorry, I mean, that's…terrible."

"Yeah, it was." Dusty agreed with a sigh.

"You must've been close with him, to do something like that for him." She ventured softly, as if she was unsure if the topic was off limits.

"We were. He was my best friend. Is…my best friend." She corrected herself. Shannon looked over her shoulder to where Boone and Locke had gone into the jungle hours ago.

"I wish I could be friends with my brother again."

"You still can. It's never too late. That's the great thing about siblings. No matter how long you're apart, when you come back, you're still siblings. And that's special."

"I don't know. It's different with Boone. I ignored him for so long, and when I finally noticed him, when we finally got close, I screwed it up. We're like strangers now. I didn't want things to turn out the way they did between us."

"I bet he didn't either."

* * *

Shannon had become quiet, and Dusty couldn't sit in silence, so she excused herself from her. The rest of the day was spent looking for something to do. Which was almost as good as having something to do, itself. But the only flaw was that she was still left with nothing when the day grew late. 

Night was coming. Dusty could tell. Not only by the increasing darkness. But she could feel it. From the anxiety that welled up inside her whenever the sun began to sink. She knew what would come next; cold sweats, short breaths, and a disturbance in her mind that made every thought choppy, like a mosaic of a million things she wanted to think about, but couldn't devote enough time to before moving on to the next thing. There came an unidentifiable emotion so great that made her body feel too small to hold it. Like there was a monster growing inside her and it was about to burst out. She couldn't sit still. She had energy to expend, and it was burning her body whole.

Dusty shook her head vigorously and entangled her hands in her hair, trying to free her mind of the many large and small thoughts that attacked her all at once whenever she stood alone at night, with the waves singing to her.

Silence. She needed silence. So, as soon as the thought came to her, she headed off into the jungle. She'd heard there was a monster out there, but it didn't matter. If it killed her, she'd be better off anyway. If it didn't, she'd find peace in the silence for a little while.

She could hardly see in front of her. The trees blocked the moonlight from shining down to her.

"_I'm scared, Aunt Dusty."_

But, she just kept moving.

"_Don't worry, Braydon. There's nothing to be scared about."_

Further and further from the beach.

_He squeezed her hand._

Away from the people, from the waves that always sang.

"_I love you, Aunt Dusty."_

Her pace increased, until she realized she was running.

"_I love you too, chicken pie."_

Finally, she burst out of the vegetation into a small clearing. The branches above parted, allowing a small ray of moonlight to shine down on her. Stilling her heavy breathing for a moment, and listened.

Nothing. Absolute, beautiful silence. She smiled bitterly and sat on the ground. She listened to her heart slow, and felt her body start to lag. Her eyelids drooped, and as her mind numbed, she lie on her back, looking at the stars through the small aperture in the canopy, thinking of nothing but the soothing silence.

Her eyelids snapped open in instant fear as she realized she'd fallen asleep. But, she was alive, in one piece. Dusty chanced a smile. She hadn't slept in days. Though it couldn't have been very long, as the darkness was still complete, it felt good, invigorating. But, then she wondered, what had woken her? A twig snapped in the darkness somewhere to her right. Her breath caught in her throat as she imagined the monster lurking. She listened so hard the silence became deafening, until she heard it again, closer. Dusty stood, and searched for a stick or some type of weapon.

But it was too late. Something stepped behind her, she could feel its presence and its warmth. She spun, her heart beating in terror, to find…Sawyer.

"Pipsqueak!" He grabbed her shoulders to steady her, brow furrowed in a cross between anger and concern. "What the hell are you doin goin out in the jungle at night?"

"Good God, Sawyer! What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me?" She retorted, both relieved and faintly angry at him for frightening her.

"I followed you to bring you back to the beach. It's not safe out here."

"I don't need rescuing, Sawyer."

"I know that. If you did, I'd have left it to the doctor. I just want to know what hurts you so much. I want you to tell me what you're running from."

"So you came out here out of morbid curiosity?"

"Yeah. And to see how long you'd last out here before I have to save your ass." Sawyer shot, her bull headedness egging him into an argument.

"Oh please, I can take care of myself."

"Look at you, Pipsqueak, you couldn't fend off a fly."

All of her peace was gone. When she saw Sawyer's face, her heart initially jumped into her throat, and it was not from the scare he'd given her. She thought it would be nice to have someone out in the silent jungle with her. Just to have someone's warm, understanding presence. Someone like Sawyer. She knew he came after her to protect her, but his fierce need to deny it was irritating and frustrating. She realized maybe he was a little bit more like the Sawyer that Kate and all the rest saw. Distant and cold, though the warmth of his soul sometimes glimmered through, like the underlying theme of his visit to her tonight, he was mostly a jerk. And people like that didn't change. They just infuriated her. His jab at her independence was the last straw. She'd show him she could take care of herself. She'd get him back for ruining her peaceful silence. So, she wound back her little fist and sent it flying powerfully into his jaw.

Taken off guard, and from the surprising force of her punch, he stumbled.

"What the hell is your problem?" He asked incredulously, as if it wasn't obvious. Adrenaline surged in her veins. God, it felt good to let go. Release her inner frustrations and sorrows and anger, even if it was at someone who didn't fully deserve to be receiving her ventilation. She lunged at him again, and got at least one more good punch in to his face. It all blurred after that. Tears stung her eyes and she found herself pounding furiously on his chest as he attempted to catch her wrists and still her frantic anger. She grunted and shrieked in her delivery of punches.

"Shh! Pip, quiet down!" He tried reasoning with her, but somehow he doubted she could even hear him through her rage. She needed to be quiet. He needed to quiet her down, for both their sakes. Branches were rustling in the distance, and the thuds became increasingly louder, and vibrations on the ground increasingly more jarring. Finally, he caught her wrists and pulled her body close to him. That did it. She looked up in shock at his face. His lips were drawn tight in frustration with her, but his eyes were pleading, and maybe a little bit afraid. Dusty blushed, embarrassed at both her unexplainable outburst and their proximity. But then she heard the sound that had caused Sawyer's desperate need to still her. Her jaw dropped, and the utmost terror spread on her face. Sawyer was not allowed to enjoy the blush he'd caused to grow in her cheeks, because of the fear he felt, and how hard he was listening for the sounds that caused such fear. It was closer. Trees snapped and landed hard on the ground. Closer.

* * *

The most profound statements are often said in silence. - Lynn Johnston

A/N...I apologize profusely for the large delay in update. I've been out of my mind. But, the good news, the season is over, and my team placed 8th in the state! How AWESOME is that! Anyway, big thanks to the THREE reviews from the last chapter. Luv you guys. My updates will be far more regular now, I promise. You'll probably get another one this week, if you play your cards right.

**Eclypse** - Thanks, it's great to have a new reviewer! Hope to hear from you again!

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - Extra thanks to you for being loyal to me and the story since...forever!

**Freckles-101** - Don't worry, Jack and Kate will always be together in my little world. Always.

Austin B.


	9. Those Who Wander

Chapter 9 - Those Who Wander

"Run!" Sawyer shouted, and pushed Dusty in the general direction of where he thought camp was. In the dark he followed her as best as he could through the whipping branches and dim light. Rocks and trees lay on the ground, obstacles both nearly tripped on in their desperate flee. They'd run for a long time, and Sawyer, whose lungs were not as healthy as in his younger days, was heaving painfully. They were obviously not going in the right direction, since they should have been to camp a long time ago if they were, so Sawyer stopped Dusty after rasping out her name a few times.

They leaned against the trees to catch their breath, and then were silent, listening. The noises had ceased.

"Do you think it's gone?" Dusty whispered, scared to make too much noise.

"Maybe. But we need to get our bearings and get back to camp."

"Okay, but do you think we could just rest for a minute?" Dusty plead, and through the darkness, Sawyer saw the weariness etched on her face. The terror took a heavy toll on her. Not to mention this island beast.

"Yeah." He answered, and they sat on the ground, leaning their backs against the trees. The dark was nearly complete, and nights on the island could get extremely cold. It was just their luck that this night seemed colder than all the rest. Dusty wrapped her arms around herself, wondering how she could have gotten herself into such a hopeless situation, and how they were going to get out of it. She didn't notice how violently she was shivering until she heard the leaves beneath her rustle, and Sawyer's voice, low and strong.

"Come here," he demanded gently, and heard Dusty scoff.

"Are you suggesting we huddle together for warmth?" She said sarcastically, unsuccessfully trying to stop her teeth from chattering.

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting. Why, you have the same thought?" He replied, but when she did not go to him after a moment of hesitation, he cursed quietly and crawled over next to her. "You're so stubborn." He said softly, raising an arm up to wrap around her shoulders. She squinted her eyes to see him through the darkness, and he was staring at her, urging her to come to him. She never took her eyes off his, afraid if she looked away, the darkness would engulf them, and she would lose him. She just leaned forward slowly, and his arm was around her. His skin touched her arm. Dusty lowered her eyes, and leaned into his warm body, subtly warming her fingers through the clothing on his chest. "So why did you leave the beach, anyway?" Sawyer asked quietly down to the small woman wrapped close to him.

"I just wanted some silence." She explained simply after a moment, imagining what it would feel like to tell someone the real, full truth. She wondered how light she would feel, how good it would be to finally set her worries free into the air. But Sawyer did not understand.

"Everyone's sleepin, Pip. It's quiet at the beach."

"No. The waves are never quiet. And the wind always blows through the trees. It never stops." She said forlornly. Sawyer did not speak for a moment, just took in her words, and felt the sadness and isolation she must have felt.

"Tell me, Dusty. What happened?" The concern and urgency in his voice told her even if she refused, this would not be the last time he asked.

He felt her sigh heavily, and she closed her eyes. The guilt and the pain squeezed her chest tightly. To release the words into the air…would be such sweet freedom. But could she handle the emotions that would surely follow the confession? It didn't matter if she could or not, because she knew for a fact she couldn't survive holding it in any longer.

She put her hands to her temples and spoke slowly. "My brother was sick. Or else he'd have been on this flight. I guess that's the only good thing that's come of this. At least it was me and not him. But I can't seem to focus on that one good thing. Whenever I'm alone at night, with nothing to do, my mind goes back to them. The kids. He sent me to pick them up from their Grandma's in Australia. Their mother was killed in a car accident the week before. Amy and Braydon. They were twins. Six years old. Just the sweetest, best, most adorable kids in the history of the planet." Dusty paused, and Sawyer could only imagine the painful look she must have had on her face, in her eyes. "They loved me so much."

"What happened to them?" Sawyer asked quietly, subtly tightening his hold on her, as if to protect her from being taken away before he could hear all of what she needed to say. Dusty spoke calmly, then. Far too calm for what she spoke.

"We were near the back." He heard her smile bitterly at the memory of her loved ones. "Amy was cold, and I couldn't find a blanket around, so I went up to find a stewardess." Her voice finally wavered. "That's when I felt it. God, I should've been with them."

"Then you'd be gone, too."

"Maybe it would've been better that way. I should've died with them. Then we'd still be together, not on this God forsaken island."

"There's a reason for everything." Sawyer offered, not really knowing what to say to take her sorrow away.

"So I've been told. But what reason could God possibly have for stranding us here, and taking the two most beautiful souls on the face on the planet away from those who love them?"

"I'm not sure. But it brought me to you." She looked up at him sharply, almost thinking it was one of his crude jokes. But there was no laughter behind his eyes. Onlycompassion,and understanding. Dusty smiled. She was positive now that Sawyer was not the heartless man the others thought him to be. Dusty wrapped her arm around his midsection and held tightly, nuzzling her cheek over his warm, firm chest. To her surprise, she felt him place a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

A great crash shook the ground suddenly, interrupting the peacefulness of the moment. They both shot up, and Dusty's hand found Sawyer's even in the darkness.

"Come on!" He yelled, and pulled her off into the jungle. It might not have been the direction of camp, but at least it was away from that horrible noise. The trees cracking and ground shaking were accompanied by a deep growling, which spurred the fleers faster. It may have been due to the fear, or the darkness, or both, but Sawyer missed the log that lie in their path, and tripped over it, landing hard on the other side. Dusty as well tripped over the log, and over Sawyer, rolling onto the ground in front of him. She sprang up again and reached down to help Sawyer up, but he was moaning in short, ragged breaths.

She threw herself on her knees beside him and urgently asked him what was wrong as her hands moved all around his body, trying to find the cause of his pain. She jerked her hands back as she came to his stomach. A sharp stick protruded about three inches from his lower stomach, warm and sticky with blood. Thankfully, it was off to the side, and probably did not puncture any organs, but his shirt was quickly becoming soaked in blood, and the stick was about a half inch in diameter. Dusty put her hands on his stomach again, and he drew in a sharp breath.

"Is it bad?"

"Nothing we can't handle." Dusty lied, her strong voice betraying the panic that was swarming her.

"Do you know what to do?" Sawyer asked timidly, afraid of what the answer might be.

"Sure." Dusty lied again, still sounding strong, but feeling even more panicked. A wave of pain must have swept over Sawyer again, for he cried out, and clutched at his pierced abdomen. "No! Sawyer, let it be." But even in his injured condition, he was still stronger than her, and he pushed her away. His demeanor was crazed, fevered, as he clutched the small end of the spike that skewered him, and slowly pulled it from his body, with a long, loud, battle cry.

Sawyer tossed the weapon next to him in relief, and touched his bleeding stomach. Dusty was shocked. He was crazy! The blood was pouring out of his body! Quickly, she clamped her hands over the wound, putting pressure to hopefully slow the bleeding. Now what was she going to do? Sawyer was weak, and dying. A small voice spoke in her mind, telling her what to do. The voice she recognized as the one that had been speaking to her all along, while stranded here. She typically ignored it, because she feared to do what it told her, but this time, hearing Sawyer's soft cries and shallow breaths, feeling the life seeping from him, the small voice grew louder, and Dusty knew she had to listen to it.

"Do you have your lighter?"

Sawyer wearily slapped his hand to his left pocket, and Dusty took his right hand and placed it over his wound, holding it there with one of hers as she dug in his pocket for the lighter.

"Sawyer, can you hear me? Listen, Sawyer, I need you to do something for me, okay? You need to push your hands against your stomach right here, hard. Can you do that?" She asked, as she placed his other hand over his wound as well. In response, he mustered all the strength in his body and pressed hard on the hold, slippery with warm blood.

Dusty fumbled her bloody hands on the lighter, and used its light to gather twigs and leaves and built a small fire. Once a stick had caught fire and made a coal, she took it out and blew the flames from the end, leaving a coal burning red. She crawled back over to Sawyer, whose aghast face was lit by the glow of the small fire. The horror of what she was about to do revived him for the time.

"Get that thing away from me, Pip!"

"Sawyer, it has to be done. You're going to die." She said commandingly, stilling his protest.

After a pause of indecision, he plead, "Promise me it won't hurt," somehow pitifully, making her heart ache, and her hands sweat with the pressure of what she was about to do.

"I don't think I -"

"Promise me." He demanded, and Dusty swallowed hard, realizing the words were for his own bravery. So she complied.

"I promise." She pulled his reluctant hands from his wound, and he clenched his fists tightly to his sides in preparation. Dusty swallowed hard, and prayed for strength to do what she needed to. She didn't dare look at his face. She knew what would be there, and didn't want to see it.Especially since she was the one who put that pain there. She didn't want to hurt him anymore.

_It's all for the best.It's for his life. I have to save his life. I have to save him._

_ save him_

_ save him..._

_ ...save them..._

Dusty just held her breath andwinced as she pressed the hot coal to the wound. Sawyer cried out in pain as the blood and skin sizzled. But then he passed out, thankfully. She tore a piece of her own cotton T shirt to tie tightly around his midsection. She also put out the fire, afraid it might attract whatever it was that had been chasing them. They were left in darkness.

She sat next to Sawyer, with a trembling hand on his arm, just to be sure he would still be there. She was not strong enough to move him. Even if she was, she may disturb the carefully sutured wound. She could just pray the monster wouldn't smell the blood that was spilled all around this spot, and hope someone would find them soon.

All that blood. It was her fault. But her mind was exhausted from the intense events of the day, and she was not allowed to beat herself up for the chain of events she'd set into motion that caused Sawyer's injury.

The darkness had once again become complete, and the silence returned. But it wasn't satisfying this time. It felt isolated, and evil. For once, she longed for the voices of people, and to see the glow of a fire.

Perhaps it was to instill confidence in herself, or to lighten the exhausting situation that had befallen her and the man that lie unconscious beneath her hand. Perhaps it was to feel normal again, if only for a moment. Whatever the reason was, Dusty began to sing softly, a song with a soft, rolling melody. The same song, for whatever reason, she'd hummed to herself for years, whenever she got scared.

_When I find myself in times of trouble,  
__mother Mary comes to me.  
__Speaking words of wisdom,  
__let it be. _

_In my hours of darkness,  
__she is standing right in front of me,  
__speaking words of wisdom,  
__let it be. _

_Let it be, let it be,  
__let it be, let it be.  
__Whisper words of wisdom,  
__let it be. _

_When the broken hearted people  
__living in the world of dream,  
__there will be an answer  
__let it be. _

_Though they may be parted  
__there is still a chance that they will see.  
__There will be an answer  
__let it be. _

Even as she was singing, she leaned back against a tree and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, feeling Sawyer's warm skin under her fingers.

* * *

Not all those who wander are lost. 

Great job reviewing, reviewers. Love all ya'll. And I wishthey would hurry up and air some new episodes. I'm sick of all this re-run crap. The least they could do is play the episodes I haven't seen. But noo… Anyway…review and I'll…write something very nice and funny for you at the end of the next chapter. : )

**New Dusty Fan** - Sweet screen name! I love Sawyer, too, obviously. Thanks so much for your review!

**Bitter.sweet.31** - Cliffies are evil, I know. I couldn't help myself.

**Eclypse** - Thanks, as always!

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - Sorry about leavin ya hangin that last chapter. This one wasn't much better though. Will they make it out of the jungle alive? I don't know! Actually, I do know, but you won't until later! HA! Do your worst.

**Leigh** - Thanks for the review. Keep 'em comin!

**A Wandering Minstrel** - Oh, I'm healthy as a horse. Thanks for your concern, though. : )

Austin B.


	10. Lost Hope

Chapter 10 - Lost Hope

The morning was cold. Colder than any that had visited the island in all thetime they'd endured. The exposed skin of the two lost souls sleeping in the jungle was sticky and chilled. Dew formed on the dense vegetation around them. Dusty woke with a shiver, and her heart was pounding. Her eyes snapped open, and she was greeted with a surprisingly beautiful sight that she had not expected. Instead of sitting against the tree as she was when she fell asleep, she was now lying on her side next to Sawyer. During the night, she must've slid down to him, and now her one arm was draped across him. He had his one hand intertwined with her fingers. She watched his chest rise and fall evenly for a moment. _Thank God he's alive_. A smile grew on her face as she realized just what a miracle it was. Dusty studied the side of his face. _No wonder he's a jerk_. She thought with a fond grin. _He must know how gorgeous he is_.

But the coldness of the morning suddenly bit her, and she realized what had woke her in the first place. She jerked upright and strained her ears to hear it again. Faintly, someone was calling her name. Through the fog of exhaustion that seemed to blanket her still, she distinctly heard Jack's strong voice.

She made to yell for them, but a squeaky whisper was all that came out. After practicing a few times before her raspy voice would carry far enough for them to hear, she called frantically back to them. Soon, they trampled quickly to her.

"Dusty, thank God you're okay!" Kate gushed immediately, taking her face in her hands as if to be sure she was real, and healthy.

"Yeah, I'm okay, but Sawyer's been hurt." Kate's eyes turned for the first time to Sawyer, who lie sleeping on the ground. His face was pale, and the leaves around his abdomen were stained scarlet, along with his hands and the bottom of his shirt. Kate looked in horror from Sawyer's bloody form to Dusty, who had just seen the scene in daylight for the first time and had turned her eyes to her own hands in shock, still red with his blood. Jack and Sayid carefully lifted Sawyer to carry him back. Dusty took a step to follow them as they made their way back to the beach, but her knee gave out. So Kate pulled her arm over her shoulders, and helped her.

Dusty silently thanked God for answering her prayers, as she leaned heavily on Kate for assistance walking back to camp. She thanked Him for keeping Sawyer alive and guiding her friends to her for rescue. She thanked Him for protecting them in the jungle, and before she knew it, she'd thanked Him for everything.

* * *

"Boone?" She began timidly.

"Oh, hey Shan, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing… Can I help you with that?" She reached for the pole he was erecting to construct a laundry line. He resisted, insisting he did not need her help, but she also insisted on offering her assistance, but in doing so, only kicked the pole from its hole in the ground.

"Shan!" Boone exclaimed, as the pole and all the rope toppled over into a heap on the sand. Shannon clapped a hand to her mouth. "Look what you did!"

The surprise on her face turned to anger. "What I did? I was just trying to help!"

"Well I don't want your help. I was better off without you."

"Boone, you have to stop blaming me for accidents." She said calmly, obviously working hard to keep her temper in check.

"It's kind of hard, when they're always your fault." He countered, stooping to pick the pole back up.

"Can't you give me just a tiny ounce of credit? I had good intentions!"

"That's not enough." He growled in her face, turning to undo the damage she caused. She clenched her jaw for a moment.

"Well what do you want from me?" The distraught blonde asked in frustration.

"I don't know, maybe some indication that you're capable of feeling human emotion. Like regret. Or, what would be really great, is some consideration here and there."

"Some indication…" She trailed off contemptuously, "Well, how about this- I love you." She stated sternly, suddenly. He just looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, you heard me. You're my brother. And no matter how far we drift apart, you'll always be my brother. That's more special than anything. So when you're ready to see how much I've changed, when you finally decide to forgive me for the stupid things that I've done in the past, I'll be here."

She smiled as she walked away from him. Satisfied that she finally said what she wanted to say to her brother, perfectly.

"Shannon!" Boone called, and though she couldn't see it, he reached out, as if to catch her before she slipped away from him.

She paused and pivoted on her heel to face him.

He looked at the ground a moment, trying to find words or courage, or both before finally looking up to her. "Okay."

* * *

The only reason Dusty consented to be cleaned and fed, was that she was too much in shock. But her senses returned after nourishment, and she refused to rest, though it was the one thing she knew she direly needed. But she also knew she could not rest easily before knowing if Sawyer would be okay. So, when Kate left her side and commanded her to lie down, she snuck from the tent she was in to Sawyer's, where Jack and Kate stood over him.

"Dusty, I told you to rest!"

"How is he?" Dusty asked Jack, completely ignoring Kate's exclamation. Jack had cleaned Sawyer's wound and was examining it.

"You cauterized it." He said, somewhat amazed, as he looked from the wound to Dusty, who hugged herself with her arms, eyebrows stitched in concern, face haggard from lack of sleep and worry. She nodded weakly.

"I had to. He would've bled to death."

"Where did you learn that?"

"T.V." She smiled weakly. Jack chuckled.

"I'm sure Sawyer would be pleased to know that."

"Ow! Know what?" Sawyer asked disgruntled, as Jack's prodding his wound woke him.

"Never mind. How do you feel?" Jack asked, returning quickly to his doctorly way.

"Like a shish kabob." Sawyer replied dryly, laying his head back onto the pillow with a groan. Those around him smiled in relief to themselves, knowing he'd be just fine.

"You probably saved his life." Jack commented to Dusty, as he finished wrapping up Sawyer's latest wound. Dusty grinned.

"You hear that, Sawyer? I'm not taking any more of your shit, I saved your life."

"Yeah, but you choose to forget you're the one who nearly got me killed in the first place." He replied scathingly.

"I didn't ask you to come after me." snapped Dusty, annoyed. Sawyer opened his mouth to retort, but Jack's voice interrupted instead.

"Okay, let's not get into this. Sawyer needs to rest now. And so do you, Dusty." Jack intervened, and ushered the girls from the tent, gave Sawyer some medication, and left him alone to sleep. Dusty and Kate waited for him.

"So why were you two out in the jungle at night, anyway?" Kate asked, not meaning to sound so eager and accusatory. Jack looked at Kate quickly, catching the suspicion in her voice. Dusty sighed.

"I went in to find some peace and quiet, and Sawyer came after me because he knew there was something out there. We heard it, and ran. Sawyer tripped over a log and fell onto a sharp stick. You know the rest."

"You shouldn't go into the jungle alone. Especially after dark." Jack chastised.

"I know." Dusty replied solemnly, not willing to admit her state of desperation when she had run out into the jungle.

She finally agreed to rest, and slept the longest and soundest that she'd slept in weeks. Thanks to the happenings of the past day, weeks, and a few pills Jack gave her to calm her nerves. She thought about Locke's previous words as the drugs began to take effect. About people knowing what they were talking about. She decided Jack was one of those people. But as for things happening for a reason, well, she was still trying to wrap her mind around that one.Things weren't clear yet, but they were clearer than before. She was close, and she knewit would come. She had a feeling that in time, the answers would come.

* * *

"I told you I was worried about Dusty. But no…" Kate poked as she came up to him from behind as he sat by a small fire.

"Don't even start." He warned playfully.

"Sorry. All's well that ends well. Sawyer's gonna be fine, and Dusty…well, we'll deal with her one day at a time."

"It's pointless, Kate." Jack said wearily. He looked to her. Kate didn't like the darkness she saw there, and the despair that was so evident in his voice.

"What is?" She asked warily.

"This. What I'm doing. People are so predictable. And they don't change. I bandage them up, tell them not to do that anymore, and they just find a way to get hurt again. I'm not cut out for this leader business. They don't listen to me. They know there's a thing out there, and they don't seem to care what it can do to them."

"Jack, if this is about Dusty-"

"I don't know why I bother worrying. Because I'm not helping them anyway. We're hopeless, Kate. That's what it all comes down to."

Kate looked at him a moment in disbelief before speaking calmly and demandingly. "When you've lost all hope, you can borrow some from me! Just don't give up. Because once you give up, we really are lost."

Jack considered her. The fire and passion she held extended beyond the boundaries of her body. When she was looking into his eyes, he always felt so instilled with confidence. "Wasn't I the one giving you this speech not too long ago?" He smiled humorlessly. "How can you believe so much?"

"How can I not with you here? If we had any chance of surviving, I mean really making a life on this island, it's because of you."

A genuine smile graced his lips, this time. "Thanks, Kate." He said, and put his wrist on her knee, with his palm open. She set her hand in his and smiled back.

* * *

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. - J.R.R. Tolkein 

Sorry I lied about saying I'd update last week. I'm ashamed. There's no excuse for ignoring you guys. But I'll be better now, I promise. SPRING BREAK!

**A Wandering Minstrel **- Oh thank you so much! That word was torturing me for days. I was trying to find the right word. Sauterize, sauter, cauter… I didn't know! Cauterize. I knew it was something like that. Well, I was kind of close. Thank you for pointing that out, for my peace of mind. I hate it when I can't think of a word, it just drives me nuts. Whew. I feel so much better now. Oh and thanks for the great review, too!

**Freckles-101 **- You know Sawyer. He's like a cockroach, he survives everything. Lol.

**Nicole** - Thanks, that's such a compliment to say that. I'll be updating more frequently now, I promise.

**Orlando's Hot Chick **- haha I hope I updated quick enough to escape being number one on the hit list. Don't worry, I'd never kill Sawyer. I love him too much.

**Dusty Fan **- lol, still loving the name. Thanks a lot for your review! I try really hard to make everything seem real, I'm glad I'm doing a good job at it! It'll be hard to write chapters after that last one that everyone loved so much.

Austin B.


	11. Good Enough Never Is

Chapter 11 - Good Enough Never Is

Dusty woke just as the sun set. Wouldn't you know it, it was just her luck. She was tired still, and tried to go to sleep again, but was unable to close her eyes without being plagued with images of them. An imprint of their souls and of their faces the very last moment she'd set eyes on them was burned into her. Every moment she fell unconscious, she'd get a flash of one of them before her eyes, laughing, crying, singing, all in one, and she'd jerk awake, feeling lonelier and sadder than the moment before.

She sighed and hung her head as she stood in the makeshift door of her tent, seeing the setting sun. When they were rescued from the jungle that morning, her body seemed so much lighter from finally sharing her story. But now her troubles had returned. She had to move her body, go somewhere, do something. And there was only one thing that she was particularly interested in at the moment. So, she scurried across the sand to Sawyer's tent, and peeked inside to be sure he was alone before entering. He lie on his cot, asleep, like he was supposed to be. . . Like she was supposed to be.

Dusty smiled as she stood over him, watching his face. He looked so peaceful when he slept. There wasn't that skeptical, judgmental glare in his eyes, or worry lines on his face. She bit her lip, tossing a thought hesitantly around her mind, before reaching out gently and pushing the hair back from his face. He let out a sigh in his sleep, and a faint smile graced his lips. Dusty narrowed her eyes, wondering if he was asleep at all. She scowled and pinched his arm.

"Ow! What the hell!" He shouted, glaring at her. "What did you do that for!"

"I didn't think you were really asleep."

"Well you can be sure I'm not now, thank you."

"Sorry." She said timidly, and sat beside him on his cot. After a pause of awkward silence, Dusty broke, "How do you feel?"

"I was chased through the jungle by a monster and narrowly escaped death himself disguised as a sharp stick. How do you think I feel?" He said in that cynical way of his.

Dusty scrunched up her face at him. "Why couldn't you have said nice to relieve my guilt like 'I'm feeling better.' or even 'Not too great, but thanks for your concern.'?"

"Because then you'd think I was growing a heart. And I have a reputation to uphold." Sawyer said, only half joking.

"As the jackass of the island?" Dusty spat back.

Sawyer didn't respond. Dusty sighed and looked at her feet as he sat next to her, looking out of the doorway to the twilight horizon.

"It really did hurt." Sawyer said, surprising Dusty. She smiled bitterly, knowing he was talking about the promise she made him in the jungle.

"I know. That was second promise I've broken in my life."

"Only two? Wow. Good record."

"Not good enough." She muttered under her breath, not really intending for him to hear.

"What was the first?" Sawyer asked after a pause, with a curious smirk.

"Huh?"

"The first promise you broke."

Dusty's eyes searched her memory, pulling up the night she made the pledge that haunted her today. "I promised Amy I'd always be with her."

Sawyer didn't really know what to say. But he felt the need to console her, and since it was a feeling that not often visited him, he offered gently and somewhat unsurely, "You always will be, in a way, I guess."

"It's not good enough." She said, shaking her head calmly. Her brow stitched, and she looked into his eyes. "Do you think it was my fault?"

"Of course not. None of us could have possibly known the plane would crash." He answered instantaneously.

"I meant you getting hurt." Dusty responded quietly.

"Oh." Sawyer thought as he looked at her. "No. Even if it was, it was worth it. I got to hear you sing."

"You heard me?" She asked in amazement, almost amused.

He nodded with a faint smile. "Somewhere in the back of my mind, through the haze, I heard you. I always had you pegged for more of a country girl, myself." He grinned, and Dusty felt infinitely relieved that the awkward intimacy between them had been broken. But her smile quickly faded as Sawyer asked softly,

"Did you ever find what you were looking for in the jungle?"

"A moment's peace? I suppose I did. But it was short-lived. Too good to last, I guess. They say if it seems too good to be true, it usually is." She attempted a light chuckle, but ended up sounding more nervous and uncomfortable. Which was exactly how she felt.

"Something's still bothering you." Sawyer observed.

"Of course something's still bothering me." She barked. "We haven't been rescued yet. Claire's going to have her baby soon, and I haven't gotten more than eight hours of sleep in the past four days." It could have been her lack of sleep, causing her to be edgy and overreact to Sawyer'ssimple observation. It could have been his desire to uproot all of her issues so soon after the fact, but she was probably just angry that he didn't know what was really wrong, without her having to say it. She felt close enough to him that she expected him to just know._He should be able to see through my act. He should know I'm just trying to be tough. Why does he have to make me say it?_ Dusty made to leave the tent, no longer satisfied in his presence, but Sawyer grabbed her arm.

"What're you so afraid of?"

"Why can't you just let this go?" Dusty retorted.

"Because I care what happens to you!" He exclaimed, and surprised himself with his own angry confession. He continued quickly. "This pain will torture you until you let it go."

Something inside Dusty's strong will broke. She needed to explain herself. She needed someone to understand. Though she highly doubted Sawyer's capacity to understand feelings and the depth of a woman's soul, he surprised her sometimes, and she couldn't keep anything back anymore.

"I can't let it out, because it'll all spill out at once and completely drown me. I can't handle it!" She snarled.

"If anyone can handle it, it's you. But no one can handle keeping something like that in. Just tell me what you need to say."

Dusty glared daggers at him and scoffed bitterly. "You know, I've tried to get to know you. See past the façade everyone else sees. I thought maybe there's something more to you. But I think I was wrong. You're just a hypocrite, like everyone else. You've given me nothing about yourself, why should I tell you my secret?"

"Because it'll destroy you! Jesus, I try to do some good on this island and this is the shit I have to take!"

"I already have enough people trying to save my pitiful soul. I don't need a heartless jackass with a sudden attack of conscience, too."

Sawyer's brow was stitched into a scowl, mirroring her expression. But when he walked away to his own tent, hers softened into something synonymous to regret. He hadn't reached his tent yet when she called out to him.

"You really want to know?" The desperation in her angry voice made him stop and pivot slowly. She wanted to tell someone, she just needed them to beat it out of her first.

"Yes."

She stalked to him and stopped a foot away, pointing a finger at him. Her voice was angry and heated at first, "I remember watching the fuselage burn. Thinking that someone, somewhere loved a person that was burning." She dropped her hand to her side, her eyes looked far away, and she continued softer, "I can't decide if it would've been better to know they were in there burning their beautiful faces, or thinking they're off somewhere in the jungle, scared and alone." She turned to stare into the orange flames of the fire behind her. Then she felt him standing closely behind her. She took in a sharp breath as she felt him push her hair from the back of her neck. His fingers moved over her skin, gently tracing the base of her hair. The warmth of his body was so close to her, and strong hands softly touching her lulled her into a strange sense of safety. She closed her eyes, and after a moment of exhaustion, lost all sense of balance. Before she realized it, she had tipped over sideways.

"Whoa!" Sawyer exclaimed quietly, holding her tightly to him and lowering her to sit on the ground. She regained her bearings, and realized her hands were clutched in his shirt tightly. Dusty looked up to his eyes. So blue. So full of concern. She felt a warm tear drip over her cheek and off her chin. It felt as if that one tear weighed a thousand pounds, and it had just been lifted from her small body. Eager to be rid of the toxins that made her feel this way, her body was racked with a sob. And then another. And she gently set the top of her head against Sawyer's chest as she let her unhindered tears fall into the sand. She cried so hard she couldn't breathe. All the pain inside her left her feeling so hollow. She faintly heard someone whispering soft things into her ear. The words, she could not quite make out, but it didn't matter. His voice was enough.

When her tears quieted a few minutes later, she wiped her face and sat back onto her heels. She looked up at him. The calmness on his face and the kindness in his eyes. He touched her cheek. She sighed and set her cheek on his shoulder. He pulled her body in closer to his, and entwined his one hand in her hair, and the other slowly rubbed warm circles into her back.

"Dusty you have to let them go… they're dead." He whispered into her ear after a soothing moment. She paused a moment before whispering back.

"It's not that easy. Their bodies might be dead, but that doesn't matter. Until I find them, they're trapped. Their souls can't be free. My soul can't be free." Dusty explained sadly.

"What do you need to do?" Sawyer asked kindly.

Dusty thought a moment.What did she need to do? From somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew.

"I need to say goodbye."

* * *

Thank sweet Jesus it finally actually feels like Spring. Sorry my updates have been slacking...but thanks to the few who did review! Don't have much time to say a lot, since I am getting pretty sick. : ( Hope to hear from you all soon!

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - lol I'd loved to have seen that power point.

**Freckles 101, Dusty Fan** - Thanks loyal reviewers! Keep it up!

**Skyblue266** - thanks, love to hear from you!

Austin B.


	12. Feels Like Today

Chapter 12 - Feels Like Today

Dusty exited the tent she'd stayed in that night. The night was gone, there was no reason to hide anymore. After a long look at the horizon, her feet unconsciously meandered her over to Sawyer's tent on the hill, where she heard voices from inside.

"Your bruises are starting to show up."

"Thanks for that, Freckles. Like I needed to be reminded."

"That fall really did a number on you." Kate said, pointing to the bruise on his cheek. He touched it gently, a sparkle coming into his eyes and a smile tugging at his lips.

"Actually, that was from the little lady slugging me."

"What? She hit you? Why?" Kate asked in amazement with a smile.

"Because he was being Sawyer." Said Dusty as she entered the tent. "Like you even have to ask." Kate grinned at her, and Dusty met Sawyer's eyes, their lively sparkle complimenting the crooked grin he wore.

"Whoa, it's a party." Said Jack as he entered. "How are you today, Sawyer?"

"Peachy keen, thanks for askin."

"And you, Dusty? How do you feel?"

"I'm fine." She answered quietly. Jack eyed her for a moment skeptically before proceeding to inspect and re-bandage Sawyer's wound. Kate left soon after to gather some fruits and berries for breakfast. As Jack left, he took Dusty outside for a moment.

"You didn't sleep last night did you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"You look how I feel." Jack gave her an understanding smile, which she returned gratefully. "We need you here, Dusty. And you're no good to anyone in this condition. Someone's gotta get Walt into some supervised trouble." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "So what do you say?"

"I suppose I could give it another shot." She reluctantly acquiesced, and he gave her a friendly squeeze before leaving. Dusty watched him walk away.

"So that's what it takes to melt your heart." Sawyer's voice came close behind her. She turned to him.

"Care for me? Yeah that's what you need to do to melt my heart."

"If following you into the jungle, saving your ass from a monster, and nearly getting killed isn't sign of affection, I don't know what is."

Dusty grinned as if she'd just had a revelation. "Why, Sawyer, if I didn't know better I'd think you're jealous."

"Jealous of what?"

"You think I have a crush on Jack." She sang.

He scoffed, "Oh, just go to sleep."

"You know as well as me, I can't sleep."

"But you promised the doctor."

"I'll not and say I did." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"What is it that you see when you close your eyes that's so terrible?" He asked suddenly, seriously.

"I told you before I don't handle this very well." Dusty replied, true to herself, trying to make light of the situation.

"You handled it like anybody would've. But there's more. What do you see?" He asked again, intently.

Dusty looked at Sawyer, the curiosity in his eyes had grown. And it now encompassed something completely deeper. She'd trusted him before, and it was true that he helped her release some of the burdens she'd held. But he was right, there was still more that she needed to do to heal herself. So, she reluctantly closed her eyes and described it to him.

"Sometimes I see Christmas. With mom and dad, Jake and Mandy and the kids. Braydon helps Amy open the doll I gave her. She carried it under her arm all day." Dusty smiled forlornly. "And then there's the times I see their future. Sticking up for each other in school. Pictures together at graduation. They'd call each other when they had a big fight with their spouse. Baby sit each other's kids. There was so much good they could've done." With her eyes still closed, she hugged herself, feeling very exposed. But, in the next moment, she felt a warm body pressed up against her, arms surrounding her, and lips on hers. He kissed her gently once, and looked into her eyes, which had snapped open in surprise and looked curiously into his.

Sawyer took her hands and led her to his cot, where she lay down, and he lay behind her. He propped himself up on his elbow, and with his other hand, brushed the hair from the back of her neck. His fingers traced lines up and down her soft skin, and ran through her hair. Soon, her breathing steadied. Miracle of miracles…she'd fallen asleep. He smiled and leaned over her to see her peaceful face. And he then fell asleep behind her, with his arm over her.

* * *

"Jack."

"Sawyer, you shouldn't be walking around." Jack chastised immediately, but Sawyer just shook his head.

"I need a favor."

Jack narrowed his eyes at him. "What kind of favor?"

"Something for Dusty."

* * *

Sawyer sat on the log beside Dusty as she looked back at the jungle.

"Most people turn around and look out to sea."

She barely heard him. She felt as if she was fading away from this world, slowly becoming a ghost. All day she watched the world go by as if someone else was walking around in her body. She was on autopilot, motions involuntary and mechanical as her mind wandered far away. "I'm not like most people."

"So I've noticed." Sawyer grinned, but got no response from Dusty. He'd never not gotten a response from her. It was like talking to a brick wall. She was there, and yet she was not there. Somewhere deep in him he feared she was too far gone. He just wanted to kiss the pain and suffering away, but instead, only offered consolingly, "Things will get better. I promise."

"I don't believe you." Dusty retorted softly, simply. There was no malice in her voice, as he'd have expected. There was no anything, actually. And that scared him the most. He reached further to her.

"I didn't think you would. But give it time, and you'll see."

"Time does not heal all wounds. Some are just too deep." Was her only cryptic answer. Even her voice seemed ethereal.

"I'll prove it to you. Come with me."

"Where?" Finally, she showed some recognition that she was engaged in a conversation with another human being.

"I have something to show you. Just bring your backpack, we're going in the jungle." She looked skeptically at him. "Please, if you've ever trusted me before, trust me on this. This is something you need to do."

Intrigued by his desperate pleas, Dusty packed a bag of blankets and fruit. She zipped it up and stood to leave, but caught a glimpse of the doll set beside her bedroll. She looked at it for a moment, and stooped to pick it up and set it gently in her backpack as well.

* * *

Did you SEE the knitting needle Jack used to pop Boone's lung last Wednesday? Yep, that was Dusty's. I totally freaked out when I saw it. Well, I was pretty much freaking out the entire episode. I fiercely did NOT want Boone to die. I was actually afraid they'd pull the switcheroo and kill Claire instead, because Boone was too obvious. But, no. I'm happy Claire had her baby, and I'm happy they didn't cut Boone's leg off. Excited for this Wednesday's episode!

**Dusty Fan Forever** - your name just keeps getting better and better! And it is difficult to capture the essence of Sawyer. I doubted my ability to perform the task, but thanks to your compliment, I am more confident in myself. You made my day! Thanks!

**Orlando's Hot Chick, Eclypse** - my two loyal reviewers reviewed both of my LOST stories! Luv ya's! -kisses-

Forever yours  
Austin B.


	13. The Perfect Goodbye

Chapter 13 - The Perfect Goodbye

She followed Sawyer down the beach, far away from camp, where they met Jack and Kate. They didn't say a word, Kate only smiled faintly at her, and they walked into the jungle. Their feet rustled the vegetation, as the sounds of the waves grew further away. This was perfect. Companionable silence. But it didn't end there. They'd walked for an hour, maybe, when they began to see shrapnel by their feet. Pieces of metal, paper, a shoe.

And then, suddenly, as if it had been part of the trees and jungle all along, the grown over, stained gray metal, appeared, twisted in the boughs. It was the back section. The four of them stood in a line, looking at it. Jack, Kate, Dusty, and Sawyer. A moment of silence passed, and it was clear Dusty was content to stare for a while more, but the sun was sinking quickly into twilight.

"Do you need a minute?" Jack asked her quietly. She smiled faintly, never taking her eyes off the mangled heap of death in front of her.

"I've had too many minutes with this." He nodded, and took a can of fluid out of his backpack, squirting it inside the metal hearse, and drawing a line of it out to Dusty's feet. Then he handed her a match. She hesitated, but struck it alight. She stared at the flame in her fingers. When they just began to think she wouldn't have the nerves to do what she needed her to, and the match was about to burn her fingers, she dropped it, and it lit the fluid. It ran quickly up to the metal container, and lit its contents, which were hidden from the spectators, thankfully, by the wall of it.

They watched the fire burn, and Dusty took the doll from her backpack, kissed its cold plastic face, and tossed it gently into the flames. Sawyer saw her smile. He gazed into the fire, feeling relieved. If this fire lifted the hurt from him, he couldn't imagine how she must be feeling, since she was the one that had been afflicted by this pain. Silently, he reached his hand out, entwining his fingers with hers. She didn't look to him, but held his hand as well.

Jack chanced a glance at Kate, who was intent on staring into the flames which licked the windows from the inside and grew large at the gaping hole at the end of it. Her features, aglow in the light of the fire. The strand of hair that always fell from her ponytail. He smiled and looked back to the fire.

It had died down, and they walked in silence again, back to the beach. But the sun had sunk too low, and their two measly flashlights were not enough to safely light their way. The batteries would not last long, anyway. So, they decided to sleep there for the night. They found a group of trees that grew close together, and laid their blankets by them. Sawyer, naturally, laid his out further away from Jack and Kate, whose were not two feet from each other. Dusty spread out her blanket farther down from the trees, on the other side of Sawyer, away from Jack and Kate. It was more of a habit, nowadays, for her to be secluded.

She heard three other heartbeats, and three other breaths beside her own, and the non-rhythmic rhythm lulled her exhausted mind and body into unconsciousness.

The next thing she knew, she was running through the jungle. Why, she didn't know. She just felt that she was looking for something. For someone. She ran up to the base of a hill, and began climbing feverishly. Her arms ached from pulling herself up, but still her pace did not slow. If she didn't make it in time, she could lose them. She pulled herself up to the flat top of the hill, and on her hands and knees, hung her head, panting to catch her breath. But, she suddenly felt a presence there, and looked up. A relieved smile grew across her features.

"Thank God I got to you." She breathed to the two young children who stood before her. They smiled back at her. They looked just the same as they did the last she saw them, only happier. Amy had her doll clutched under her arm.

"We're free, Aunt Dusty. You set us free." Braydon said. His voice was gentle and soothing. She'd never heard anything so beautiful.

"You can't leave me! I'm not free!" She cried.

"You will be."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're strong."

"I can't be strong anymore."

"That's okay. You don't have to be all the time. We'll always be here. And you have new friends, now." The little girl stepped beside her brother.

"Amy!" Dusty cried in wonderment, hearing her niece's musical voice.

"You can let us go, Aunt Dusty. I'm not cold anymore."

"I can't. I can't let you go." She sobbed.

Amy knelt before her Aunt, and touched her chin with her small, soft hands. Dusty looked up to her. Her hazel eyes were so deep, with so much understanding. "It's not your fault. We're happy now. We're with mommy. It's time, Aunt Dusty. You know it is." Dusty nodded softly, and chanced a weak smile. She gathered Amy into her arms and hugged her tightly. She released her and kissed her forehead. Braydon hugged her as well, and kissed her cheeks. Dusty smiled.

"Goodbye, Aunt Dusty."

Dusty opened her eyes in the darkness, and before her mind registered that they were not still before her, she whispered back, "Goodbye."

Sawyer propped himself up on his elbow and looked to her where she lay on her own blanket a yard or two past his feet.

"You found them." He whispered, and she sat up on her bedroll and looked to him, nodding slowly once. He smiled, and through the strengthening morning, he saw her smile faintly back. She stood and walked over to him. He scooted over on his blanket, and she lie down, immediately wrapping her arm around his chest. He pulled her close and held her to him. They lie there, watching the sunshine trying to break its golden rays through the dense canopy. Sawyer felt a warm tear soak into his shirt.

The four of them came back to camp. Many eyes followed them as they made their separate ways. Kate sat heavily on the sand, and Jack went about his doctorly business. Dusty walked down the beach dreamily, looking all around her. She sat in the sand, closer to camp than her usual spot, just so she could hear the dull murmur of the people's different conversations.

"Hi Jack." Dusty greeted him blandly as he sat next to her in the sand, looking down the beach.

"Hi, Dusty." He replied, his voice deep and tremulous, and full of concern, as it always was. "How are you?"

"Oh, same old spiel. Sitting in the sand looking at the scenery. Fruit and boar for breakfast and dinner, since we seem to skip lunch most of the time around here. How are you?"

He smiled, "About the same. Some people are concerned about you."

"You mean Kate?"

"Yeah," he chuckled.

"Where is Kate, nowadays?"

"I think she's helping Michael set up some showers by the caves."

"Good. Well you can tell her I'll be just fine."

"You're sure?"

Dusty nodded.

"Well, I'll be around if you need me. And Kate, too, you know that." Again, she nodded, and spoke when he had stood.

"You need to lighten up, Jack."

"What do you mean?"

"You're so dark. There are times you forget the burdens momentarily, but Kate can't be with you all the time, so I think it would be best if you tried balancing yourself out." He looked at her quizzically, and she figured her weary mind wasn't making sensible words, so she tried again. "Jack, you're one of the very last people on this planet that deserves to be hurt. And I like to believe that the world is mostly just for those who deserve it. All you've got to do is be yourself, and lighten up."

Jack half smiled faintly, curiously, as he recognized the peace he saw in her eyes. So Sawyer's idea really had helped her. Burning the bodies of her niece and nephew really helped her let go. He was glad. Since Kate had voiced her concerns to him for Dusty, he'd noticed the subtle depression of atmosphere when she was around, though her entire personality and demeanor contradicted it. He knew now why Kate had seen it. She was very in tune with people's feelings. But what confused him was that even Sawyer had seen it before he had. Sawyer had spent a lot of time with her, though, he reasoned. Which was an entirely different mystery in itself. And one he wasn't going to invest his time in deciphering. It was their business, not his. He had more important things to tend to than figuring out what it was Dusty saw in Sawyer that pulled her to him the way he'd seen when they were around each other. Jack was unsure of any response, so he just dipped his head to her and left.

Sawyer had watched her from outside his tent. Seen her look at the world with different eyes. The way she walked, the way she moved. It was like she was an entirely different person. She walked taller. Like a weight had been lifted from her small shoulders.

He'd seen Jack sit close next to her, and his eyes immediately narrowed, but he scoffed at himself. Why was he jealous of Dr. Perfect? He'd had more intimate moments with Dusty than the stiff doc would ever have. With that thought, he smirked with pride. So there was one minute instance in which he had something the doctor didn't. He had Dusty.

He came from his thoughts as she moved from her isolated place on the beach, and watched her move to a small fire a few people were gathered around. She sat and threw in a few words now and then, but mostly just listened and watched. From the distance between her and him up at his tent, he saw the orange glow cast across her features, intently listening to someone speak. All he wanted to do was sit next to her. Not even kiss her, or look at her, or talk to her. Just feel her next to him. Hear her breathing, her heartbeat.

He kept his distance until nightfall. He wasn't really sure what she wanted. To be alone, still, even after she'd found them? Did she need someone to be with, to talk to? It was hard to say with her, with her situation. Even if she wanted someone, she wouldn't want him, would she? He bustled around inside his tent, tossing his numerous suitcases back and forth, attempting to feel busy.

"Not that I care…" He muttered to himself, "She should be fine now, anyway. Lord knows how much hoopla would've been had at camp if she'd stuck herself with those damn knitting needles." He huffed a sigh as he plopped onto his makeshift bed. "She should be fine."

Dusty laid on her back in the sand, after most campers had gone to sleep. She was content in skimming her fingers on the grains beside her, still warm from the day's sun, staring up at the stars. The day had flown by. She had to remind herself to eat. Now that her mind had gotten over the barriers that plagued it and prevented it from remembering, she had time to relax. Be calm, and actually think. She remembered all sorts of things that had escaped her for years. Wonderful things. Like the very first time Braydon wrapped his little hand around her finger, and how Amy would look up at her with those big blue orbs.

She heard someone's feet softly swishing in the sand up to her. He lay down, setting the top of his head in the crook of her neck, upside down next to hers. Who else, but Sawyer.

"You're smiling." He said up to the sky.

"So I am."

Sawyer's curiosity had finally gotten the best of him. That was what he told himself it was, anyway. He wanted to be sure their trip into the jungle had done the trick, and rid her of her guilt. From her mere presence, he could tell that it had. Her demeanor was less high strung, more laid back. Calm and thoughtful. The happy silence after a period of such intense sadness, and the stars gave Sawyer the feeling that it was time to sing.

"Sing something." He demanded softly.

"Why would I do that?"

"Can't you ever just agree with me on anything?" He asked, bantering playfully. "You always have to argue."

"Well, now you've tasted a fraction of what it's like to live with you."

He chuckled, and was silent again, listening to her breathing, until he heard her begin to hum softly. She whispered the words, but he heard them perfectly.

"This vacation's useless, these white pills aren't kind. I've given a lot of thought on this thirteen hour drive. I miss the grinded concrete where we sat past eight or nine and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights. I've given a lot of thought to the nights we used to have. The days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast. I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor, where I laid and told you but you swear you love me more. Do you care if I don't know what to say? Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me? Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay? That there's someone out there who feels just like me? There is."

* * *

TOOOtally excited about the Season finale. THough i don't know what I'll do all summer without any new episodes. I guess I'll just have to watch the old ones over and over.

Anywho, review please!

**Freckles 101** - If that's called being strange, count me in. I get really into my TV shows. Especially LOST.

**Suspencer**

**Orlando's Hot Chick**

**Dusty Fan Forever** - Still love you.

**A Wandering Minstrel** - Better late than never, I always say. Sawyer was totally cute, I agree. He may be growing a heart, I'm not sure. He seemed nicer, more concerned. He was sitting with Michael eating fish! He was interacting…with people!

Austin B.


	14. Words of Sun and Shadow

Chapter 14 - Words of Sun and Shadow

It's not like he wanted to do it. He'd reasoned and debated the two sides in his mind for hours, until he exhausted himself. And he always came back to the same conclusion: it had to be done.

The little thing they'd had was fun for a while. But, let's not kid ourselves, it wasn't going any further. It was just the kind of person he was. Never had a serious relationship in his entire life. Why start now, when it was even less likely to work out on an island after a plane crash?

He wouldn't have even brought up the debate if he'd not suddenly realized just how close Dusty was to him. Even though he hadn't told her much about his personal life before specifically, she seemed to understand him somehow. Which was all wrong. No one understood him. He had thought Kate understood him once, and maybe she had, but she showed no interest in understanding him anymore. But she wasn't the topic of this debate.

It was Dusty.

She, with her tiny body, curves in all the right places, expressive, deep, shining eyes. Why had he even allowed himself to get so close to her in the first place? He'd at first convinced himself he only wanted to help her rid herself of the demons that plagued her, so she wouldn't do something terrible to upset the entire camp. But he knew that excuse wouldn't work anymore. Could it have been the shock of the crash affecting him, making him seek comfort? That was absurd. He hadn't felt the need for comfort at all…until he had spent time Dusty. Every word she spoke from those beautiful lips, every laugh that sounded in the air, every roll of her gleaming eyes. He'd come to rely on her for escape from the torturous loneliness of the island. Sawyer hadn't relied on anyone since he was a child. He'd lost himself in healing her. And Sawyer hadn't cared enough to help heal someone in a very long time.

It was all just an unfortunate mistake. Dusty's personality was…magnetic. She'd unwittingly lulled him into a relationship he hadn't wanted. The forces of nature. It was no one's fault, but he had to end it.

Sawyer knew what kind of man he was. Therein lies the problem. In the end, he knew beyond a doubt it would lead to heartbreak. For at least one if not both parties. He'd be himself, do whatever it was in his personality that made people angry with him, and break her heart, because he knew just how close she held him to it. Or, she'd realize just what kind of man he was, find some hero like the doctor to lavish her affections on, and leave him. And break his heart. Because he had realized just how close he held her to him.

So, he had no choice. He'd just have to leave her first. Before either one of them got hurt. It was the only thing to do. The best course of action, he reasoned. But that didn't mean he wanted to do it.

So, he stopped attempting to subtly meander over to her bedroll and chat. He stopped seeking her out, stopped bringing her rations of boar and fruits. Stopped casting glances at her from across camp.

And when she visited him up at his secluded tent, where he'd spent all his time for the past days, for fear he'd bump into her somewhere, he made sure to be distant.

"What's up with you?" She asked in disgust, only the second time she'd spoken to him after he'd made his decision.

"Nothing's up with me. Why do you ask?" He retorted, sounding annoyed. He didn't look at her, but closed his eyes, sunning himself on the sand.

"Because you've been a complete and utter jerk to me for the past three days."

"How could I have been a jerk? I've barely spoken to you."

"That's just it! You went from spending nearly every moment of the day with me to not even talking to me! I thought we were at least friends. What is wrong with you?"

"Look, I wanted to help you get through whatever it was you were going through because I was afraid you'd do something stupid like stick yourself with those damn knitting needles. The jackasses at camp probably would've found a way to blame me for it."

"Every time you touched me and made me feel connected to you, it was all just so the others wouldn't blame you if I killed myself?" She asked sardonically, not believing. But Sawyer was silent. "Everything you've ever said to me was a lie." Dusty said incredulously, as if just realizing that the sky was blue.

"It's who I am, deal with it."

"So that's how it's gonna be, then?" Dusty summed, after a moment of angrily stunned silence, not truly believing his story, but hurt nonetheless.

"Yeah. That's how it is."

The sun had risen a few hours earlier, and after catching up with Hurley, whom she hadn't spoken to much in the past week, she sat down with Walt. After a few minutes of debating whether or not he should go talk to her, Michael strolled over and caught the tail end of their conversation as they were poking each other.

"Come on, why not!" She exclaimed, pretending to be hurt, but not doing a very good job, since Walt's poking her in the stomach caused a expostulation of laughter.

"You're too old! And I'm too young!" Walt retaliated, and Dusty's jaw dropped, and she was about to retort when she spotted Michael.

"Michael, tell him he's not too young to marry me."

"Why won't you marry Dusty?" Michael played along

"Ick." Was Walt's only reply, scrunching up his nose.

"Take a hike, man, I need to talk to Dusty." Michael said gently, and Walt complied. They watched him walk away for a moment.

"He's a great kid."

"Yeah, I know it." Said Michael distractedly. "Look, I'm sorry about before, on the beach." He said abruptly.

"Don't worry about it, I should be the one apologizing."

"No, I overreacted." Michael insisted, and Dusty smiled.

"Well, we've taken to doing something less dangerous now."

"What's that?"

"I'm translating his comic books."

"You speak Spanish?"

"Vaguely. He trusts me, and I'm good at improvising, so he doesn't know the difference." Dusty said with a mischeivous grin.

"Good con." Michael nodded approvingly, and Dusty gave him a appreciative, understanding smile.

"Thanks."

It left her with a good feeling, and she meandered over to the other side of camp, in the general area where Sawyer always seemed to be. She was unsure of why her feet always took her to him, because part of her mind was screaming at her to stay away. She couldn't handle the way he'd been acting with her. But then there was the other half, screaming at her that he was lying, protecting himself from her, as if she'd ever hurt him. And it seemed her feet were in accordance with this side. Because she strolled up to him as he was sitting there on the beach, resting his forearms on his knees, looking out to sea.

"What's on your mind?" She asked, plopping next to him.

"We're on a deserted island. What's not on my mind?" He chuckled humorlessly, forgetting his pact of coldness toward her momentarily.

"I hear ya. Uh, you wanna tell me?" She asked uneasily, figuring he'd either open up, or get angry. Either of which was desired. Because in either case, something would be revealed to piece together the puzzle that was Sawyer.

"Tell you what?"

"What's on your mind."

"We haven't the time." He said with a staid smile.

"Sure we do, we're on a deserted island." Dusty said with a smile, but only elicited a half smile from Sawyer. "I'm serious. You can tell me."

"For the love of Pete, when did you become so nosy?" He suddenly exploded, looking at her incredulously. She scoffed in disbelief.

"When I started to care about you and want to help you and suspect there's something you need to get off your chest."

"I don't like my problemsto becommon knowledge."

"Oh no? They're common enough for Kate." Dusty said angrily.

"What does she have to do with anything?"

"Nothing. My secrets were hardly common knowledge either. And I told them to you!"

"That's different."

"How?"

"It just is!" He shouted, and turned to walk back up to his tent.

"Hypocrite!" Dusty yelled after him incredulously, causing him to stop and turn around in curiosity, his anger quelled for a moment.

"Of all the names I expected you to call me just then, how is that one justified?" He asked, walking a few steps back to her.

"You haggled me into telling you my secrets, and now expect me to just leave well enough alone, because this is different? You think my pain hurt any less than yours? Stop kidding yourself and drop the act. When it comes to pain, everyone's the same. You can't hurt so much that it's better to keep it all in. Pushing everyone away does no good. Believe me, I learned that lesson. Can't you return the favor and open up to me? Don't you see what good it did for me to finally open up to you?" She explained fervently.

"I don't need anyone prying into my business. I don't need to talk about it. Your new buddy Freckles seems to have passed down her love for digging into my past and trying to change me. Her ideas of me must've rubbed off on you."

"I got my ideas of you from when you came into the jungle after me to keep me safe. When you held me when I cried, and stayed with me when I needed to talk, when I needed someone to listen to me. I know you need people. Everyone needs somebody."

"Yeah, well not me." He snarled.

"Oh really? Then what's this?" Dusty pointed between them ardently. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what?"

"Making me think you feel something for me." She walked closer to him and asked quietly, intently, "Why did you kiss me, anyway?"

Sawyer thought for a moment for the coldest, most insensitive answer he could possibly think of. "I saw an opportunity, and I took advantage of the situation for my own personal, selfish benefit, like I always do. It didn't mean anything."

"Don't give me that bull shit." She snarled as he made to turn away.

"Fine. You wanna think it was more than it was, you wanna think there's more to me than what everyone else sees? You want to believe that you mean something to me? Go ahead, you'll just be disappointed."

He walked away from her, and pitched himself down in the sand, leaning his back against a low sand dune, trying very hard to look indifferent. After a moment, Dusty walked up to him, but he refused to look at her. So, she knelt beside closely him in the sand, and leaned over him. He felt the warmth of her face on his. Her lips touched his lightly, and she kissed him once. Sawyer was a bit too confused to react for a moment, and Dusty hovered with her lips grazing his for a moment. He was suddenly overcome with the tremendous urge to have her. There was nothing he wanted more than to feel her skin on his and to hold her in his arms. So, not caring what foolish vow he'd made to himself, he only knew what he felt in that fleeting moment, the tingling that shot to his very fingertips, he wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply. Like a victim of a drought, when the rain came.

"Why did you do that?" He asked in a whisper, when they broke apart, and Dusty had touched her forehead against the tip of his nose. She looked up at him, sitting back onto her feet again.

"To be sure."

"Sure of what?"

"That you lied about me meaning nothing to you."

A faint mischievous grin grew across Dusty's face, and a strange half smile brought out Sawyer's dimples again, because he knew it was all over for him. If he wound up getting his heart broken, or breaking someone's heart, he didn't care. The time between now and then would be worth it.

* * *

Yeah, corny. But whatever. I felt like I had to put some of their feelings in there.

PS. the song in the last chapter was 'There Is' by box car racer

**Dae** - I wish Dusty was a character on the show, too. That'd be fierce. Lol. Anyway, you wanted more Sawyer Dusty, you got it. Austin B. delivers yet again!

**Lilly writer** - J/K will come. In heaps and tons, believe me. I'm primarily a J/K writer. Sawyer/OC is just a filler, because there are so many possibilities for OC's.

**AWandering Minstrel**- That very well may be. I have a habit of not remembering things. I was sewing today, and I probably lost about three needles and four push pins. I just set them down and they disappear. My memory was doomed from birth. My mother and grandmother are the same way. Thanks for keeping me in line! And it is interesting that the French station made Danielle the crazy German woman. Lol.

**Skyblue266** - I love it that you're so eager. J

**Stella Polaris** - I pride myself on my movies and series tastes. And besides The Lehua Blossom, I have a story called Saint Elmo's Fire in the works. And it is totally J/K packed. So watch out for it.

**Eclypse** - 7 more days until LOST again! The finale! Don't they add a new character? Does a person just show up, or are they going to start focusing on one of the other castaways that have just been anonymous? I'm not sure why I'm asking you all of these things. Maybe I think you know. Do you?

Austin B.


	15. Smooth Sailing

Chapter 15 - Smooth Sailing

Camp was peaceful. The day was not too hot, and not too cool. Dusty sat with Jack and Kate, mostly just listening to their conversation, throwing a comment or observation in here and there. Dusty looked about camp, with only half a mind on Jack's laughter. Boone had just left Shannon to join Locke on whatever secret mission he was on, and Sayid now stood in front of the blonde woman. Hurley was walking down the beach with Jin, apparently getting some fishing lessons. Michael was throwing a Frisbee to Walt, as Vincent ran in between them, like the monkey in the middle.

Dusty smiled as Jack was telling the story of how he accidentally flooded his babysitter's minivan. Everyone in camp was either busy with some task or pleasantly unoccupied. A strange feeling rose in Dusty's heart. She thought about it as she watched Shannon and Sayid laugh. Could it have been happiness?

To be happy seemed so wrong. How could one be happy here, stranded on this island, after all the horrible things they'd gone through? After all those people didn't survive the crash. There had never been a time on this island that she was ever happy. That Dusty ever had nothing to worry about, that she could sit down with Jack and Kate and listen to stories and laugh. It seemed off.

Aside from the suspicion of such a new feeling, it was nice to be happy. Maybe this was the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe things would smooth out from here. Dusty tried shaking the distrust of the happiness sensation, but a sneaking feeling kept her from letting go of her doubts. She just kept hearing her voice over and over, sounding so confident. She was talking to her brother, consoling him when his wife left. _"As hard as the rough patches are to get through, it's when your ship seems to be having smooth sailing that you should start to really worry." _Jake had scoffed, and prayed to God for the good times, just for a little while, no matter what tragedy was surely to befall him.

A piercing suddenly shriek echoed through the camp. Panic flooded all that heard it. They stiffened for a moment, wondering if it was indeed real. All laughter and stories and pondering were immediately forgotten as Jack, Kate, and Dusty sprinted toward the source. Charlie sat at the edge of the jungle, holding Claire's back against his chest, alternately cooing to her to breath and shouting for Jack.

"What is it?"

"She just started screaming and holding her stomach. It doesn't usually hurt this much does it? Something has to be wrong, but she won't tell me!" Charlie heaved, clearly distressed.

The sand was darker around her legs, damp with fluid.

"The baby's coming." Jack said, upon noticing this. Claire's hold on Charlie's wrist loosened gradually, until she was quiet. Her face was damp with sweat, and she looked positively exhausted.

"Claire? Listen to me, okay?" said Jack, tilting her chin up so she would look him in the eye. "The baby's on it's way. How do you feel now?"

Claire smiled faintly, her eyelids only half open. "Tired." Jack chuckled.

"That's to be expected. We're gonna take you to the caves, okay? There's more fresh water there, my tools and some shade." She nodded, and Jack enlisted Charlie's help to hold her up and walk. They had sat in a secluded cave preparing for at least five minutes before her next contraction. Charlie pet her hair and kissed her neck as she leaned her back against his chest, clutching his legs on either side of her. Jack had lain towels beneath her and given her some pain medication.

It was an hour of sitting, waiting, and preparing until the baby was ready. Underneath the blanket he'd lain over her, Jack worked.

"Okay, you need to start pushing for me, Claire." He said, and Claire grit her teeth and did as she was told. Dusty and Kate stood idly by, feeling very useless.

Hours passed. Jack's voice never tired and never shook. He'd never tell anyone the utter terror he felt in those hours. To have Claire's life and the life of her baby in his hands was the most nerve racking thing. If he slipped up, he knew what that would do to the camp. To Charlie. To know that such a beautiful person as Claire depended on you to save her life and the life of an innocent child. It was the most petrifying procedure he'd ever performed.

Dusty and Kate nearly tripped over each other to fetch blankets and water as Jack asked for them, then stood back and wrung their hands and held each other for a while.

Claire's face paled more and more with every minute. Her eyes hardly focused, and she was breathing hard. Jack urged her to push harder, but she was losing strength. All of a sudden, she calmed and leaned her head back onto Charlie's chest. Her eyes focused on his, and her breathing evened. She smiled wistfully up at him.

"I've picked a name." she whispered.

"Oh wonderful. What is it?" Charlie tried his best to sound calm, though his voice was breathy and shook.

Claire kissed her fingertips and placed her hand up to Charlie's face. Her demeanor, her movements, were all eerily calm. "Be sure you call him…Charlie." She whispered to him, and as soon as the words left her beautiful lips, she grimaced in pain, cried out, and fell unconscious.

"Claire, come on! Claire!" Charlie shook her shoulders, but she did not respond. "Jack, she's passed out!"

"Claire? Oh… Dusty, take Charlie over there and wait."

"But Jack!" He protested.

"Go! Kate, come put a blanket under her head and open my bag." Jack ordered, and Dusty drew Charlie up from behind Claire as Kate set her gently down onto a blanket. Dusty led Charlie away from the scene, though his head swiveled to keep his eyes on her as long as he could. Kate repositioned herself beside Jack and awaited her orders. He had closed his eyes and was breathing deeply. On his lips she read… "…four…five." He looked to her then, with determination. "Okay." He started.

Kate handed Jack the tools he needed, and toweled the blood off Claire's large belly. An involuntary tear rolled down her cheek as she watched the concern on Jack's face. She'd never seen him more concentrated.

Dusty sat next to Charlie, rubbing his back as he stared off into the jungle with perpetual worry lines creasing his forehead. Every now and then, he'd stand and pace back and forth, but would always return next to her, and the cycle would begin again. She'd have cooed soft things to him, reassuring things, but she just didn't know what to say. Nothing like this had ever happened. Sure, there were people that had gone through tragedies. Sure, she had friends whose wives had complications in labor. But nothing like this had ever happened.

This was Claire. She was the sunshine on this dark island. For Charlie, at least. But she brought happiness and a lightness of atmosphere whenever she was around. Without her goodness here, what would it be like? Dusty couldn't imagine the depression and darkness of this place that would surely come about in Claire's absence.

Waiting seemed worse than any knowledge of demise. Everyone involved was completely oblivious to the fact that they had skipped lunch and dinner, and the sun had begun its decline in the sky. Until finally, Kate was seen walking up to them.

Dusty fancied she felt Charlie's heart still in his chest. Hers skipped madly, eyeing Kate for any indication of the situation. She searched her face, but it was stoic. Then, her eyes drifted down, to the bundle of towels cradled in her arms. And the smile that grew on her face when she caught sight of them. Charlie shot up to greet her. He looked into the face of the baby she held, and his jaw dropped.

"It's a boy, just like she said it would be." Kate grinned.

"He's beautiful." Charlie whispered, and Kate shifted the small weight from her arms to Charlie's. "How is she?" He asked next, beseeching her. Kate swallowed hard, her joyful face falling.

"I'm not sure. Jack's finishing up on her as best as he can. But, Charlie, he doesn't have the right tools or…" She trailed off, hoping to prepare him for what she honestly expected to happen.

Charlie rocked the baby in his arms, his eyes dancing, but his face otherwise devoid of emotion. He sat in his place, watching the baby's face. His little arms waved about, and he opened his eyes. Charlie smiled. His eyes were stunningly blue. Just like Claire's.

Kate stayed with Charlie so Dusty could go see how Claire was. Jack didn't even hear her approach, or the question she asked. So, she just hung back and waited.

Kate had gotten them all food and water, and held the baby and insisted that Charlie eat. She then returned to Jack, Dusty and Claire. Dusty ate gratefully, and Jack finished soon after. He washed, and drank some water, but would not eat so soon.

"Is she going to be okay?" Dusty asked. Jack just looked into Dusty's eyes for a moment. How dare you ask me that. His brown eyes were dark.

Charlie lay next to her during the night. Though he didn't sleep much. Jack helped him tend the baby, and was never far away. When the sun rose, it found Charlie sitting outside the cave, making baby noises with the little one's hand wrapped around his one finger.

He smiled and laughed, though tears fell from his chin. It seemed impossible to love someone so much that he just met. But this boy…was different. He was anpart of Claire.

Claire groaned from inside the cave. Charlie rushed in.

"Claire! Oh, thank God. How are you?" He whispered, stroking her hair. She mumbled something incoherently. "It's okay. Your baby's okay. It's a he, just like you said." Charlie smiled through his relieved tears, holding the baby up for Claire to see. She struggled to focus on him, and seemed to breathe a sigh of relief before setting her head back down and drifting into sleep to dream of her new family.

What a beautiful day it turned out to be.

* * *

Some of the sweetest berries grow among the sharpest thorns. - Gaelic Proverb

**Totally Lost** - I totally loved your review

**Freckles-101** - Of course that wasn't the end.

**Orlando's Hot Chick** - ooh Prom, hey? Mine's next weekend.

**Ginevra** - Despite his flaws, I'm a ginormous fan of Sawyer, too. As you can tell.

**CelticPuzzleStrangerRangerGrl** - Sweet name.

**October Sky** - thanks so much for your kind reviews! Until death do you part!

**Skyblue266** - down girl, here's your update.

**Eclypse** - More killing! NO! I went through too much stress last time I knew someone was going to die. They can't do that to me again. GRR! I'm glad we have 4 episodes left. But I don't know what I'll do when it's over. I've been meaning to ask, what does this mean? ja, mata ne. ?

**Dae** - lol you're demanding. Just kidding. I promise the next chapter is Jack/Kate focused. Don't apologize for wanting what you want. I know how it goes. Whatever suggestions you have for the direction of my story, voice them. You're about the only one who does. So, your opinion is the one that'll sway my writing the most!

Austin B.


	16. Sleeping Arrangements

Chapter 16 - Sleeping Arrangements

Dusty had returned to the beach. Part of her had wanted to stay with Claire and the baby in the caves, but the other part desperately needed to get away, to keep her mind from thoughts of children. Part of her wanted to be sure the baby was okay, be sure Claire fed him right, that every inch of him was perfect. But she knew she couldn't do that. Claire and her baby would be fine. So, in the morning, she strolled down the beach to a small cove. Sure no one was around, she stripped off her jeans and T shirt and waded in. She sat Indian style in the water, so it just came up to her mid section. The water was so clear. She waved her hand in front of her in the water.

"Hey Pip."

She turned calmly to see Sawyer standing on the shore, grinning like a fool. She hadn't even heard him approach.

"What're you doing here?"

"I followed you."

"Creep."

"How's the baby?" He asked, trying too hard to sound disinterested. Dusty smiled knowingly.

"He's fine."

"And the mother?"

"Claire? She seems okay. I don't know if she's woken up yet."

"What are you doing?" Sawyer asked curiously.

"Making ripples." She answered simply, continuing waving her hand back and forth in the water.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked slowly, holding in a breath in anticipation of her answer. After everything he'd put her through, would she trust him again?

"I thought you'd never ask." She grinned, and kept her head turned away as he pulled off his jeans and T shirt. She heard the water swish as he waded to her. He sat behind her, cradling her between his thighs. Dusty made her ripples, and felt him spilling water up onto her back and shoulders, and wiping it off with his hands. With a smile, he felt her shiver involuntarily beneath his touch. She leaned back onto his chest and tilted her head back onto his shoulder. He kissed her neck, and her jaw line, running his hands up her arms. With her eyes shut gently, Dusty reveled in the attention she was receiving. She reached her hands up to tangle them in his hair as he smoothed his hands over her stomach. He ran his hands down the side of her body, to her hips. Dusty giggled and twisted her body.

"What the hell?" He asked with a chuckle.

"That tickled." She whispered up to him. How could she make anything she said sound so goddamn sexy?

"What, this?" Sawyer asked impishly, touching her lightly on the hip again. She squirmed.

"Yes that you bastard!" She exclaimed with a grin, and twisted away from his grasp. But he held tightly on to her, and tickled her mercilessly. She pushed and batted him away, but he always managed to get a firm hold of her wrists and pull her to his body, where he had the prime access to her most ticklish places. She kicked water at him, and ran through the shallows to escape him. But he caught up with her, and held her waist tightly, lifting her up in the air and falling backward into the water. She squealed in delight and coughed the water from her lungs, ever grinning.

They'd spent all their energy, and heaved themselves back onto the warm, sandy shore of the cove, and regained their breath. Sawyer rolled onto his side, to look over Dusty. He touched her chin with his fingertips, and he lowered his lips to hers. She kissed him back gently, then wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him onto her securely. The feel of his warm skin pressed firmly down her entire body sent shivers into her core, and warmed her at the same time, with a heat she'd never felt before.

They walked back down the beach side by side back to camp. Bantering, as was usual. Dusty shoved him forcefully away and took off running when she saw he was coming after her. She scuttled down the beach backward, holding her hands out in front of her in surrender. He acquiesced, and they walked a bit further in suspicious truce, until he finally broke and shoved her back. Immediately he took off running, and Dusty recovered her footing and shot off after him. He was too fast for her, of course, and made it into his tent before she could catch him. But when she burst in after him, he was standing right in front of her, and grabbed her around the waist with his arms, lifting her up and setting her back down on his cot. She giggled impishly, but did not fight as he placed wildly scorching kisses down her neck.

Kate watched them run to his tent, laughing and playing. Sawyer seemed to bring out the carefree in Dusty. Kate didn't even know how to be carefree anymore. She heard Dusty's laughter, which was quickly silenced by what Kate could only imagine was Sawyer's attentive and burning kisses. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to remember what it felt like to be held and touched like that. To be loved with such passion. When she came up empty handed, the only emotion she recalled being pain and fear, she turned to the caves. She needed to feel something, and knew a man who could make her feel every smiling and tingling emotion they didn't have a name for.

* * *

Claire sat, watching Charlie with a smile. He had fallen into a light sleep, with her baby protectively in his arms. She grinned wider when her baby moved its little arm in his sleep, and woke Charlie from his light nap. He focused his eyes and looked down to him in his arms, stroking his soft little cheek with his finger, and cooing soft things to him.

"I think he likes you." Claire said, and Charlie snapped his head up to her.

"Claire, you're awake!" He exclaimed, and scooted next to her. "How do you feel?"

"Lighter." She said, rubbing her deflated belly. Charlie chuckled, happy to see her feeling well enough to joke. Claire held her arms out to hold the baby, and he set him gently in her arms.

"Hey there little guy. I'm your mommy. Oh, Charlie, isn't he beautiful? Five fingers, and five toes. He's absolutely perfect."

"He's got your eyes."

Claire giggled, dabbing her eyes of the joyful tears that had sprung into them.

"You don't have to hold to it you know, and name him Charlie. I mean, you were in pain right then and probably a little delirious…" Charlie rambled, trying to make it as easy on Claire as he could.

"No, I want to. It's perfect." Claire grinned at him, and he smiled sheepishly back.

* * *

"I hear Claire's woke up."

"Yeah, for about an hour now. She's doing remarkably well. Probably because of little Charlie."

"And big Charlie." Kate interjected, and Jack grinned.

"Yeah, him too. It's a miracle they're both fine. I honestly only thought one was going to make it if we were lucky."

"There've been a lot of miracles lately."

"Like what?" He scoffed.

"Us living through that crash…finding Dusty and Sawyer alive in the jungle…don't tell me you've forgotten about all those miracles."

"Yeah, I guess I just can't seem to concentrate on the good things that have happened. It all just gets drowned in the bad." Jack gazed off behind Kate into the trees. "What're you doing back here so late, anyway?"

"I actually came to visit Claire. And here I am talking to you."

"Don't let me distract you."

"Easier said than done." She said with a crooked smile, and he chuckled, taking his eyes away from hers to the ground. And when he looked back up again, she was still looking at him, the amusement gone from her eyes as she studied him for a moment. His body didn't seem to work with his brain as he sat under her gaze. Because his hand lifted to her face, and skimmed gently along her cheek, holding the back of her neck gently, as if he would pull her to him any moment. But he didn't.

"Kate." He whispered, and it was she who leaned gently forward.

"Yes?"

He smiled, "Nothing. I just wanted to say your name." Kate grinned, and put her hand on his wrist that touched her for a moment, before standing.

"I'm going to visit Claire, then head back to the beach for the night." She said, and made to turn, but Jack jumped up.

"Well, you're here anyway, why not stay a night? And if you like it, you could move your stuff here for good."

Kate scowled at him good naturedly, but couldn't maintain the façade for long. Seeing the hopeful look on his face made her laugh quietly.

"If I stay here, will you quit bugging me about it?" He nodded fervently, his grin ever growing. "Fine. Just for one night."

"Great!" He exclaimed, and watched her walk away, shaking her head and chuckling.

After talking with Claire and Charlie, and holding little Charlie for a while, Kate was thoroughly convinced that Claire would make a full recovery. So, she kissed the baby's forehead and stooped to hug Claire before leaving. She had wandered along the caves, and seeing that most of the people had laid down to sleep, decided it was time for her to try as well. She'd been sleeping more, lately. Since there was only so much she could do, now that things had been sort of sorted out, and more people were helping with things. Like Dusty, and a few others, who'd taken it upon themselves to do some good, instead of letting Jack do everything for them.

Kate wandered around, looking for a good place to lay down, since she didn't bring any of her blankets with her. Finding no comfortable looking places, she turned around to walk to the other end of the caves again, but found Jack standing before her.

"Over here." He said simply, and she followed him back into the cave. There was a fire crackling at the mouth, which cast light back into its depth of about seven or eight feet. It must have been seven feet high, but only about five or six feet wide. There was a blanket laid down on some moss he'd gathered for cushioning, folded over for cover as well.

"This is where you sleep?"

"Home sweet home." He said sarcastically. "So, uh, since you didn't exactly plan on sleeping here tonight and left your bedroll, you can use mine." Jack said uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his head with his hand, and refusing to make eye contact. Kate grinned in amusement.

"Thanks, Jack, but I wouldn't want to put you out."

"You're not putting me out. You're here, the least I can do is make sure you're comfortable."

"How sweet." Kate sang, her nose twitching as she scrunched it up.

"What can I say..." Jack grinned, and Kate sat down on the blanket as he sat against the opposite wall. She looked toward the fire a few feet in front of her, fighting the urge to look over at him, since she felt his gaze burning her.

"So, how do you like the caves so far?" He began, making uneasy conversation. He saw her suppress a grin as her response came to her.

"They're nothing special." She shrugged.

He smiled momentarily, and his chocolate eyes danced as he spoke, "Maybe I can change that." He did not hesitate to say it, and the look on his face made Kate's heart beat madly. She swallowed hard, hating how childish she felt when he looked into her eyes like that. She regained her composure and grinned a crooked grin.

"To be honest, it's a little bit cold." Even in the darkness, he saw the conflict in her eyes. She'd decided in that moment that she'd have what she wanted. She'd have the giggles and the looks she saw between Sawyer and Dusty. She wanted it more than she was afraid of it.

Jack knew what she was fishing for, and little butterflies came into his stomach at the thought. He chuckled, and looked away from her for a moment before shuffling to his feet and taking the two steps across the cave to her, and standing above her. She looked up at him sweetly, and pulled the covers up for him. He laid down next to her, and she tossed the blanket back over him, and leaned her head up for him to put his arm around her, and set her head back down on it. She lay on her back, looking up at the drab ceiling, trying not to smile.

"Much better." She grinned, turning her head to look at him. He smiled back, their faces were so close. They looked at each other for a moment, both a bit too afraid to lean in, but brave enough to stay close, never wanting to release the beautiful gaze. But the warmth his body emanated was seeping into her, and Kate blinked her eyes slower and slower, until they did not open again. Though he was happy to see her sleep, Jack couldn't help but feel disappointed in himself. She was lying here in his arms, and he let the moment slip away. There will be other moments, he reminded himself, and proceeded to study her peaceful face, unburdened with the worries of consciousness before he too, fell into a slumber with her beautiful body so close next to him.

* * *

How about THAT for Jack/Kate interaction? Huh? Huh? What's up now? ;)

Sorry for the slack in updates. I had prom this past weekend and an AP Biology test today and an AP Gov test on Wednesday. Not to mention I started reading this novel called In Silence by Erica Spindler. Really addicting. 700 some pages ripped through in two days. I'm a maniac. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and i hope you review!

**Dae** - This chapter is special for you because I read your review and thought about it and, I already had the chapter written, but wrote in another part for you. And it's also dedicated to you because you reviewed the chapter twice, a thing I thought impossible in ff.n's crazy world of rules. But I'm glad you did. So…did this chapter satisfy your craving?

**Dusty Fan Forever** - Lol, I'll never stop keeping you on the edge. ;) I hope I can keep you hooked, anyway. And how about that for some Sawyer/Dusty too, hey? Talk about hot.

**Eclypse **- Wow, Japanese. I know a girl who taught herself Japanese from the internet. It's so cool to listen to her talk like that. Missing out on even one episode is hard for this show. There's so many little things packed in every moment that are imperative later on.

**Freckles-101** - About four chapters left, I think.

**Totally Lost** - muahaha, keeping ya on the edge of your seat?

**Ginevra** - More Sawyer/Dusty for you! PS Your English is great!

**Skyblue266** - More for you.

**October Sky** - Missing Sawyer is a normal reaction. Heck, I miss Sawyer every moment I don't see him. (creepy?) I'm glad you agree with the way I portray the characters. That's a sensitive subject, and I need encouragement.

**CelticPuzzleStrangerRangerGirl** - Sawyer is back…  
Suspencer - Claire is okay. Breathe. Groveling is unnecessary.

**Miss jasadin** - of course Claire's okay. I love her too much to kill her off. Please tell me honestly, did you like the Jack/Kate here?

Austin B.


	17. Forgiveness

Chapter 17 - Forgiveness

"Don't you want to sleep in a real shelter for once?" Sawyer asked as he stood over Dusty. She'd known he was approaching her, but didn't look up from her knitting. Only when he'd spoken did she look up and act surprised to see him.

"No, I'm perfectly fine right here under the stars." She grinned, feigning naivety. Of course, she knew what he was fishing for, but wanted to make him say it out loud. She never liked to assume anything when dealing with Sawyer. He had a way of surprising you. It was just something he did. Part of what made him Sawyer. And, true to himself, proving just what Dusty was thinking, Sawyer knelt beside her. He took her knitting from her hands, and set it in the sand next to her. Before Dusty could protest, he had his hands on either side of her face and had drawn her lips to his. He kissed her sweetly, then pressed his cheek to hers and whispered in her ear.

"Dusty, come stay with me."

Dusty swallowed, and a weak nod was all she could muster.

* * *

When Jack woke he had rolled onto his stomach and stretched out over his makeshift bed, which now held only his body. He looked around for Kate, and found her standing like a sentinel outside the cave, looking out among the people and the jungle. He walked quietly up behind her, and though he could not see it, she smiled upon hearing him attempting to be sneaky. He laid his hand on the small of her back and she looked over her shoulder at him. 

"Good morning." He said, walking in front of her.

"Good morning, Jack." She replied with a grin.

"How did you sleep?"

"Remarkably well." Said Kate, smiling mischievously, and he knew her comfortable night was because of him.

"So…" He began.

"So, what?"

"So, are you going to move her for good?"

"I don't know, Jack. It's peaceful here, but…on the beach it's so…close."

"Close to what?"

"I don't know. Rescue, maybe."

"Kate, it's been a month. You know what the pilot said about us traveling so far off course. They don't know where we are. It may be time to accept the fact that we might be here for a while. You might as well get comfortable." he reasoned. She was quiet, looking out into the distance. "You don't have to admit it out loud just yet, but you know I'm right. Will you move here?" She was still quiet, thinking. "Nod your head yes." Kate complied, nodding her head slowly with a faint smile, her eyes flicking to his. He grinned back at her.

* * *

Dusty sat backward in his lap, with her legs wrapped around him, holding his body close. Her hand matted in his hair, drawing soft lines down the back of his neck. He shivered. 

"What was that?" She asked, drawing away to look at his peaceful face quizzically. "Oh, don't tell me you're ticklish!" She said excitedly, and reached for the back of his neck again, but he caught her wrists and made to push her away. "No, no, no, okay I promise I won't!" She pleaded, but he still held her suspiciously. Dusty craned her neck forward to kiss his lips softly. Which completely melted him. He pulled her arms around his neck and held her closely to him. She set her cheek on his shoulder and sighed, as he rubbed slow circles on her back, and touched her hair.

Dusty stood on her knees, looking through Sawyer's multiple suitcases of other people's valuables, muttering things to herself fondly about Sawyer's selfishness. Sawyer sat back in his chair, watching her, as she was wearing only her underclothes.

"You don't even use this!" She exclaimed, holding up an emery board she'd found in his suitcase. "You should give it to Shannon. She'd appreciate it." Dusty chastised, and Sawyer chuckled, shaking his head. When he didn't respond some smart ass remark like she'd expected, she turned to look at him. Seeing his gaze upon her, she chucked the small emery board at him, landing it in his lap. He furrowed his brow playfully at her grin and threw it back to bounce off the back of her head.

"Put some clothes on, hussy."

"Never!"

Suddenly, the blue tarp rustled, and Jack appeared in the doorway. The scene before him took away the words that sat on his tongue.

"Jesus man, don't you knock?" Sawyer exclaimed, only half angry (the other half mortified), standing, wearing no shirt. Jack looked from Dusty to Sawyer, and slowly smiled an amazed, halfway smile.

"Apparently not."

Dusty, deciding to abandon her task for the moment, sat on the cot and pulled a blanket over her lap for decency's sake, smiling to Jack whose eyes hadn't left her.

"Good morning, Jack." Dusty said nonchalantly.

"Good morning, Dusty. How are you today?"

"Um, I'm great, thanks."

"Well, I came to give you your last dose of antibiotics for that puncture in your stomach." Jack said to Sawyer, handing him some pills.

"Many thanks, good friend." Sawyer said of the pills, and Jack nodded to the both of them, and slowly turned to leave, still shocked at the scene. He left, and walked down the beach toward camp, still shaking his head and chuckling. So into pondering the confusing and amusing scene was he, that he didn't notice Kate walk up to him.

"What?" She asked, smiling already, knowing that whatever put that sort of a smile onto Jack's face had to be good.

"I just never would've thought." Said Jack, stopping to put his hands on his hips, looking off, pondering.

"What?" Kate asked again, more curious.

"Sawyer's actually made a friend."

"It's really not as unbelievable as you'd think. It's been bound to happen for weeks." Kate said, deflated. She was not as surprised as he.

"How'd you know who I was talking about?"

"It's kind of obvious."

"I suppose you're right. I guess I sort of hoped Dusty was smarter than that."

"Than what?"

"To fall for his tricks and be lured into his bed."

"I don't really think 'lured' is the right word. As a matter of fact, I don't think you give Sawyer enough credit all around. Sure he can be a lewd jackass, but he can surprise you." Kate stated matter-of-factly.

"Why are you sticking up for him?" Asked Jack, mildly suspicious.

"I'm just saying you should give him a second chance. Let your grudge go and give him an open mind."

"How can I let it go when he nearly cost a woman's life just to get a kiss from you?"

"If I let it go, I know you can."

"I don't understand how you could've let it go so easy, though."

"I've tried looking for his redeeming qualities. They're kind of hard to find, and I'm sure Dusty has a better eye for it than me, but I've seen them too. He's coming around, Jack. And when you see it, I hope you won't brush it off just because of the things he's done in the past. I've had too many people shut me off and judge me on my past, I know what it's like. Give him a second chance. You'll be happier, too, when you drop that heavy grudge you're carrying against him."

"Damn." Jack breathed, after a moment of consideration.

"What?"

"You make a good argument."

* * *

At the caves that night, Kate had come to Jack to let him know she was there. Because she knew he'd look for her, otherwise. 

"I suppose I'll stake out a place to sleep." Kate said, and made to turn away from Jack's cave.

"Well," He began, and she stopped to turn and look at him, "last night was the best night of sleep I've had since we got here."

"Mine too."

"Somehow," He chuckled nervously, refusing eye contact, "we sleep better together. Like it's a team effort."

"People are going to start wondering." Kate said, knowing what he was suggesting.

"Let them wonder. I don't care." His eyes bored into her, all his nervousness and uncertaintysuddenly gone.

"Jack, that's the first time I've ever heard you say you don't care about something." She grinned in amused bewilderment. Jack smiled sheepishly, and stepped into the cave, hearing her follow.

"I'm really glad you finally caved. No pun intended. It sure took me a lot of persuasion to convince you." Jack said as he sat on his makeshift bed.

"I didn't need any more reason than this." Kate said softly, sitting next to him, a faint, uneasy smile on her lips as she looked hesitantly to him. He smiled, and threw the blanket over them, and they lie down.

If they thought the night before was the best night of sleep they'd had, they were wrong. Jack woke up warm. For the very first time on the island, his body, from the tips of his fingers to the bottoms of his toes, was toasty. He looked down and saw a feminine arm wrapped around his neck, in a sort of gentle chokehold. He smiled, a bit surprised she'd stayed. He expected her to have woken and left him before he came around to consciousness. But he was glad she hadn't. She must've slept even later today than usual. Thinking her asleep, he skimmed his lips over her forearm, and placed a kiss there, and one on her bicep, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her arm. After a moment, he felt a gentle kiss placed on the back of his neck. His heart pounded, and a grin came over him as he turned under her arm to come face to face with Kate, her eyes dark and still cloudy with sleep.

"Hi." He whispered, and she smiled.

"Hi." She whispered back, and took her eyes from his for a moment, temporarily embarrassed. "Sorry. I was choking you." She took her arm from around his neck. But he caught her hand and placed it around his neck again.

"I don't mind in the least. I think that was the best sleep I've gotten in my entire life." He said, slipping his arm around her waist, pulling her body closer to him.

Kate just smiled, closed her eyes and groaned as she rolled onto her back and stretched languorously. She sighed, and rolled onto her side again, replacing her arm around Jack's neck as he replaced his hand on the small of her back.

They hung there, in that few seconds, that heavenly time that came about when your brain has just roused from sleep, where the realities of their hardships hadn't quite come back into focus. The heavy haze still hung about them, and all they could see was each other. The tips of their noses were nearly touching, and Jack's hand pressed her ever firmly against him. It was an involuntary action, and he wasn't fully aware he was even doing it. His concentration was focused on her eyes. The miraculous swirls and streaks of hazel and green. He realized he had never seen anything so beautiful.

"Doctor!" They both groaned as someone called to him from outside.

"I don't wanna move." He complained, making puppy eyes to her, as if she could help him.

"I don't want you to move, either. But someone could have caught a dangerous island rash again." Kate joked, more awake now. She rubbed the tip of his nose with hersquickly as he smiled. With one more sigh, he rolled out of bed and stretched before going to see who had the latest mystery ailment. Kate smiled and watched him leave before rising herself, and reluctantly starting her day.

As soon as Dusty saw Kate appear on the beach, she jogged over to her.

"Good morning, Kate, dear friend. Pray tell, how did you sleep last night?" Dusty ran her words together, eyes sparkling, lips turned into a gigantic grin.

"Fine, thanks. Glad to see you've cheered up." Kate answered suspiciously.

"Thanks, due to many people, including you this morning. So you've finally shacked up with Jack?" Dusty said mischievously giddy, wagging her eyebrows. Kate chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"It's actually really not like that."

"You seem disappointed." Dusty observed, the grin never leaving her face. Kate didn't respond, just bit her lower lip for a moment before shooting her a crooked grin. Dusty laughed and linked her arm with Kate's pulling her along the beach to grab some breakfast with her.

* * *

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. -Joan Lunden 

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. - Cherie Carter-Scott

Would you look at all these beautiful reviewers? Seriously dudes, I couldn't do this without you. You give me so much support and I want you to know I appreciate it. I get emotional sometimes. :) Reading reviews makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and turns a bad day around, so, you know what to do now! Review!

**TotallyLost** – Hah! Gave ya butterflies!

**Eclypse** – Hope you didn't miss tonight's episode. It was a goo-ood one.

**Miss jasadin** – No peeking ahead while you're reading! It'll ruin it for you. I actually do that all the time, too. The thing about Jack and Kate sleeping together was…they actually _slept. _I just thought that was somethin'.

**Ginevra** – True, Sawyer is damn hot. Tonight, he had his shirt off and he was all sweaty. My mom and I were just like –bug eyes- WOW!

**Skyblue266, October Sky, elvenladygreenleaf4ever, CelticPuzzleStrangerRangerGrl, CrazyWomanLovesYou, Freckles101**

**Dae** – I never miss an episode, so talk about LOST as much as you want in reviews. I love having someone to discuss the episodes with.

**DarkAngel206** – As hard as it is for me to admit, I think Kate has a thing for Sawyer, and vice versa. If you missed tonight's episode don't read this next part: as the raft was leaving, Kate wanted to say goodbye to him. And Sawyer was looking around for her, too. ;)

**Sweet like chocolate** – Good to hear from a new reviewer!

Austin B.


	18. A Hobbit

Chapter 18 -A Hobbit

Claire had gotten many visitors from the beach and from the caves that day. Charlie was always there, sitting, watching patiently as they doted over baby Charlie. When she had a moment alone, she asked him to sit next to her.

"I never thought I could feel so complete. Especially on a deserted island."

"Babies can do that to you."

"You do that to me." She said gently, not looking into his eyes, but tracing his tattoo on his arm with her forefinger. After a moment of silence, she dropped her hand to her lap and looked up at him. He tore his gaze from the place where her finger had touched him up to her eyes. Hesitantly, he reached up to tuck her blonde hair behind her ear. She never took her eyes off him.

It looked like he had something he was going to say as he leaned in, but he just leaned further and further, until his lips connected with hers. She kissed him back immediately, and leaned into him, but he pulled away, upon hearing baby Charlie's little noises. He looked down to him and petted his little belly, saying silly things to him. Claire smiled as she watched him. Why couldn't they have met before this island? _Because_ _if things were different, she wouldn't feel the same about him as she felt now._ That was the immediate and probably most rational conclusion.But, something in her beliefs told her that, no matter where, no matter when she met him, she'd have ended up like this. Because it felt so right, it must've been meant to be.

* * *

Jack and Kate made their way through the jungle vegetation to the caves as the sun began to set again. Kate was lost in thoughts, particularly focused on how Jack's demeanor had smoothed so much in the past few days. As much as she tried to convince herself it was because he was sleeping so well, she couldn't help but be a bit proud that she was part of the reason for it. 

She didn't hear him ask his question at first.

"Sorry, what?"

"You're particularly quiet tonight."

"Yeah, I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"How much you've changed." She answered truthfully, without really thinking. That instantaneous honesty that spilled from her when he was around was a bit unnerving, no matter however good it felt.

"I've changed? Is it a good change?"

"Oh, most definitely. It must be because you're finally sleeping, and letting others take some responsibility from you."

"It's because of you." He said simply, nonchalantly, and she stopped walking, causing him to stop as well. The look on her face told him she wanted him to go further into detail. "Well, it is you who forces me to delegate some responsibility to others, and it is you who helps me sleep at night, odd as that may sound."

"I suppose you're right." She said, looking at her feet.

"Do I help you sleep?" He asked, suddenly curious, stepping so close to her that she could feel his breath ruffle the hairs that had fallen from her ponytail about her face. His brown eyes held some emotion that she couldn't quite place, which was odd, since she could usually read Jack from his eyes. She suddenly remembered he'd asked her a question, and expected her to answer it.

"Once I forget the fact that you're lying next to me, and your body warms me up, I sleep better than I ever have."

"Kate…" He whispered, his face leaning in to the crook of her neck, his arms sliding around her waist. Her breath hitched in her throat as his lips touched her skin. Her hand rested on his back, keeping his body close to her, and her other wrapped around the back of his neck. With every kiss he administered along her shoulders, she drew in a ragged breath. In what seemed like desperation, he kissed up to her jaw line and found her lips with his.

How many nights and days he'd dreamt of the way her lips would fit together with his. How he'd wondered if she would kiss him back. Had she dreamt of him the way he had of her?

If there had been an earthquake, Kate seriously doubted she'd have noticed. Because the ground beneath her was already quaking, and her head was spinning. She couldn't get enough of him. The hand she had around his neck tightened its grip, and pressed his lips harder onto hers.

It was a curious feeling. All of Jack's strength seemed to pour into her, making her heart swell to the point of bursting. Yet the touch of his tongue on hers, and the way he gently nipped her lower lip with his teeth made her body feel so weak she wanted to just let herself collapse and fall into his strong arms.

Eventually, the dizziness of their touch overwhelmed them, and both breathlessly pulled away, their foreheads resting together. Once Jack regained enough breath to speak he whispered,

"I don't know how well I'll be able to sleep tonight." Placing a tentative kiss on the corner of her mouth. He felt her smile beneath his lips.

"Maybe we can find something else to do instead." She whispered impishly, and Jack's chest burned. He kissed her again, trying his best to stay away from the feeling of desperation that drowned him whenever she made that little purring noise in her throat. He kissed her slowly, scorching. Her hands ran over his chest, and around his waist, where her fingers tangled in his belt loops, pulling him as close to her as she could physically be. Jack held her face in his strong hands, tilting her lips up to his.

The look in his eyes stilled her breath, and she clutched to him to keep her knees from buckling beneath her. He released her and intertwined his fingers with hers, leading her back to the caves.

* * *

Charlie was standing by the fire with the baby, talking with Sayid and some others, while Claire stepped behind a cave to go to the bathroom. She returned, and telling Charlie she was going to lie down, did just that. But as she knelt on her blankets, she saw something peculiar sitting on her pillow. She reached out diffidently and took it. It felt like a blanket. Knit with yarn. She stepped to the mouth of the cave to see it better. 

She cocked her head to the side and smiled faintly. The dingy white yarn was knit, with a pretty pattern around the edges, into a blanket, just the size for a baby. She turned it over in her hands, and with black yarn on the other side, was stitched the name Charlie.

"What's wrong, love?" Charlie asked, seeing her tear filled eyes, he was at her side before you could say sugarplum fairy. "What's this?" He asked when she didn't answer, seeing the blanket in her hands. She held it flat, for him to see, and he smiled. She let out a half sob, half chuckle, and Charlie took the blanket from her, and set it over baby Charlie, who lay sleeping in his arms. Claire wiped her eyes as she looked down to her baby, and Charlie wrapped his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

Dusty laid on her blanket, staring up at the palm trees blowing in the wind, a strange smile over her face. Suddenly, her view of the velvet sky was interrupted by Sawyer's face looming over her. 

"You're blocking my view." She said, trying to sound annoyed, but the smile on her lips showed through her voice.

"I thought I was supposed to be your view."

"Not right now. Jackass." She threw in, just for kicks.

"What're you smiling about?" He asked, sitting beside her.

"I was just picturing myself in front of the T.V with my two favorite things: chocolate chip cookies… and _you_." She grinned, making up for her first comment.

"Aw…I didn't know you were so sweet."

"I'm like a hobbit. I'll just keep surprising you."

"A hobbit?" Sawyer asked, flabbergasted. Her comments were almost as predictably random as his.

"Yeah. Short creatures, saved Middle Earth from the dark lord Sauron. Don't tell me you've never read the Lord of the Rings." He shook his head in confusion. "Sawyer, I don't think I can see you anymore." She said, mockingly serious. He just rolled his eyes. "What're you doing over here, anyway?"

"Just bored. Thought I'd see what you were up to."

"I was thinking."

"What about?"

"About how those things we thought of before as just civil, as given, are so important now to keep our sanity."

"What do you mean?"

"I knit something for the baby. Like a baby shower gift. It would've been nothing out of the ordinary. But here, everything is different. It's those simple things that remind us that we're still just people."

"Do you always think up things like this?"

Dusty nodded. Sawyer stuck a cigarette in his lips and fished in his pocket for a lighter.

"Those things'll kill you." She remarked with a grimace.

"It'll be sweet release from monsters and…" His playful expression stilled upon the next word on his lips.

"And what?"

"And you, you little brat." Sawyer replied quickly, masking his moment of vulnerability with a lopsided grin and a soft punch to her shoulder.

"Don't do that." She warned, seriously.

"Do what?"

"You know what. Push me away. I'm closer to you than anyone else here. I thought I was special to you."

"You are…I mean, ugh…dammit!"

"Not special enough to know your secret? Not as special as Kate?"

"You keep bringing her up." Sawyer observed curiously. "I thought you two were friends."

"We are!"

"Well stop being so goddamn suspicious of her!"

"It's not her I'm suspicious about!" Dusty had stood up from her blanket in her rage, and glared venomously down at Sawyer. "I need a fucking cookie." She ranted, turning her face from him and running a hand over her hair, saying the ridiculous sentence so seriously angry that it caused an instantaneous burst of laughter from him. She looked at him incredulously at first. Then, from his laughter she realized how ridiculous it sounded as well, and burst into laughter at herself.

She laughed, hiding her face in her hands as she sunk next to him again. He pulled her onto his lap.

"Dusty, Kate doesn't mean anything to me, if that's what you're worried about. She was just a temporary distraction, until the real thing. Until I found you. Lying out on the beach in a torrential rain storm."

"I think I get insecure sometimes." Dusty said pitifully.

"You think?" Which earned him a playful sock on the arm, and a long look into his eyes, and a soft, barely-there kiss on his lips.

"So are you better now?"

"Not yet. But give me time. I will be."

* * *

So, if you haven't watched the season finale yet, don't read from here down, because I'm going to be yakking about it constantly. 

So, I'm thinking Danielle kidnapped Claire. That was kind of obvious. But where did Ethan come in? If you have any theories on the many mysteries, please tell me. And the people on the boat were from the island...and when Danielle said she heard the voices say they were coming for the boy, i totally knew they were after Walt. But WHAT on EARTH do they want him for? GAH! The monster's like…INVISIBLE. Weird.  
What do you all think's in the hatch?

**Freckles**- **101**, **skyblue266, elvenladygreenleaf4ever, october sky** - thanks to you all oodles and oodles. I don't know what i'd do without your nice words to encourage me: )

**Dae **– Wasn't the season finale GOOD? I was mad they shot Sawyer and then didn't tell us what happened to him. And not telling us what was in the hatch at the end of the ladder. UGH! I'm going to be in constant suspense the entire summer.

**Eclypse** – I literally jumped when Sawyer was shot. The remote control was gripped in my hands, and it flew into the air.

**Miss jasadin** – heck yeah they shacked up.

**Dark Angel206** – Sawyer has been making me proud too. He was making friends with Michael on the Season finale, and he's been sort of nice to people. But, he showed his old self again reading the messages people wrote to put in the bottle.

Austin B.


	19. Now Am Found

Chapter 19 - Now Am Found

Kate and Jack lie on their backs, gazing up at the cave ceiling, laughing at something Kate had said. A musical sound that all the cave dwellers marveled at, and sent each other knowing, amused looks upon hearing.

"You're so hot I burn my tongue every time I say your name." Jack countered, and Kate was sent into another fit of giggles.

"Please don't tell me you use that one."

"I have once or twice."

"Oh good God. Did it work?"

"Well, that coupled with my devilish good looks."

Kate laughed. "Are you tired?

"Why?"

"Because you've been running through my mind all day." She barely got the sentence out through her racks of laughter.

"That's soo bad." Jack gushed, and their laughter died down after a moment. Kate took his hand that between them and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"You know what's funny?" She asked, and not even waiting for him to answer, continued. "We've slept together three times."

"How is that funny?"

"I don't know." Kate leaned up on her elbow, resting her cheek in her hand, and laying her other hand across Jack's bare chest, tracing little designs on his warm skin. "I just have never actually _slept_ with a man before. Actually slept." She reiterated, trying to figure it all out as she stitched her brow together. Jack placed his hand over hers on his chest. He brought it up to his lips and kissed her fingertips.

"I was your first." Jack said, scrunching up his nose in giddy pleasure. Kate gave him the you're-such-a-dork look, and chuckled. Kate crossed her arms over his chest, and set her chin on them, looking at Jack's face. Such a good face. Straight nose, dark eyebrows, deep brown eyes, and luscious, kissable lips. As that thought crossed her mind, Kate scooted herself up so she could reach his lips, and kissed him gently, then returned to her former position, studying his handsome, good face.

"I hope you know what you do to me." She said, her whole head moving as she talked, since her chin was resting on her arms.

"Oh? What's that?" Jack teased with a grin, awaiting her answer.

"Just when I think it can't get any better, I fall asleep again. And I get to wake up with you next to me." She scoffed and rolled her eyes at herself, but Jack smiled an odd sort of smile, and swiftly tipped her off him and propped himself up over her. Kate laughed at the unexpected movement, and observed the earnestness in Jack's eyes. So, she took his face in her hands and drew him to her for a long, slow, scorching kiss, which left her aching into her very fingertips for him.

"We should stop. The others are going to start gossiping." Jack whispered breathlessly as he pulled away. Kate scowled playfully and stuck out her lip.

"So what. They can't say anything worse than they've said about us already. And who cares if they gossip anyway. You're a God around here. No one, besides Sawyer, would say an ill word against you."

"Well, what about you?"

"I'm not big on caring what people say about me. And if the gossip is that I'm sleeping with the doctor, then I most certainly won't object." She grinned. "And you can't stop now. You can't do that to a girl. You started this fire, you put it out."

* * *

There was time. All her moments had before begun to blend together in a heap of hurrying from one distraction to the next. There was no need for distraction anymore. She could take things in stride, and suddenly, her situation didn't seem as hopeless as it had before. She smiled and laughed out loud by herself as she sat on the beach, thinking of her family. Those dead and gone, those sitting at home wondering where she was…if she was alive.

Then, she thought of something else. A memory she hadn't let herself remember for six years. But, she seemed to be on a roll, letting her memories wash over her, and this one slipped along with it. Her eyes looked beyond the blue tarp that made the wall of Sawyer's tent, and her jaw clenched involuntarily.

"_You two are the couple most deserving of happiness on the face of the planet. I know you've been trying to have kids for a while. I know how happy, complete it would make your lives. And me, I'm a mess right now. Still building a career, trying to shape my life and find what I want to do. That's no place for a child. A baby needs a real family to grow up in." Dusty placed her hand on her belly, a mixture of sadness and nausea written on her face._

"They were yours, weren't they?" Sawyer asked thoughtfully into her ear. Dusty wasn't aware he was awake. She turned under his arm to face him, her expression far away and blank. But, his blue eyes were patient, and she softened.

"Yeah." She breathed, her mind returning to the memory. "It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Watch a part of me being carried home by someone else. To watch them grow up calling some one else mommy."

"Did they know?"

"They do now. That's all that matters." Dusty whispered, with pain in her voice, but conviction as well.

* * *

Dusty strolled into the caves, meandering like she was taking a walk in the park on a Sunday afternoon, without a care in the world. She sat next to Claire, who was holding her sleeping baby in her arms.

"It's the best feeling in the world, isn't it?" Dusty asked, with a proud smile, recalling the time she had the smile that Claire was wearing now.

Claire nodded fervently. "I can't believe something so perfect came out of me. I'm so imperfect." Claire looked up from Charlie's sleeping face to Dusty, who was gazing at him with adoration. "You have kids?" She asked curiously. Something in Dusty's eyes reminded her of how she felt right then. Dusty smiled up at her.

"Yeah. I had two."

Claire's face fell, hearing her use the past tense 'had'. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Every mother likes talking about her children." As soon as the words left her mouth, Dusty realized it was true. She was a mother. For six years, she was a mother. It was the very first time she'd referred to herself as that, out loud.

She and Claire discussed babies, raising children, Amy and Braydon, and Claire's hopes about baby Charlie. Dusty was thrilled to connect with someone on the topic. No one besides Jake and Mandy had known. Not even kindly old Mrs. Thomas, or Jake and Dusty's parents. Dusty made them swear not to tell. She was ashamed, and also wanted everyone to think the children were only theirs, Jake and Mandy's, because they'd wanted children of their very own so bad.

Dusty walked into Sawyer's tent. She hadn't seen him around camp when she walked through from the caves, and honestly, she didn't expect him to be out socializing. Sure enough, he was lying on his makeshift bed, dozing, the book he'd been reading draped across his face. Dusty smiled and lifted it gently, setting it on the sand. She watched his calm features bathed in moonlight, and leaned over him, tracing his jaw line with her lips. He drew in a long breath, and Dusty felt his fingertips on her hand.

"This is the life. Waking up to a beautiful woman kissin me all over." Sawyer drawled, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Don't know what you're talkin about. It's only me here."

Sawyer knocked her arms out from under her, so she'd fall on top of him, and he laughed evilly as he held her body on his with an iron grip. Dusty feigned anger, but couldn't help the giggles rising in her. Sawyer kissed her long and contentedly, then looked into her eyes with a look she couldn't define. He was smiling, but his eyes were full of a pain so intense it almost made her cry.

"My parents died when I was a boy." Sawyer began softly. These were the answers she'd wanted, Dusty realized right away. But now, seeing and hearing the almost palpable suffering from Sawyer when speaking of his past, she was not so sure she wanted to hear it. "Not much older than your kids were. There was a man named Sawyer who slept with my mother, and got her to give him my father's money. Then he took off, and my father found out. He shot her, and then killed himself. He was sitting on my bed when he put that bullet through his skull. I was hiding underneath."

Dusty was shocked. She didn't say anything, only watched his expression. It was sad, and he would not look in her eyes.

"Kate only knew because she found the letter I wrote to him. To Sawyer. I was going to give him that letter. I was going to find him and give it to him. I told him what a mess he made me, and I hoped he'd feel guilty or something for ruining my life."

Dusty leaned in to give him a sweet kiss. She just hated that pain in his voice.

"So, I didn't choose to have Kate know. You know how she is."

Dusty smiled. "Yeah, I do. It wasn't her that bothered me, anyway. It was just that you had this big bad secret and I wasn't worthy enough to know it. I didn't think you trusted me enough to tell me."

"I know you too well, that's just it. I know you well enough to know what a great person you are. And I didn't want to lose you."

"You thought telling me your past would scare me away?"

"Maybe." Sawyer said with a smile.

"If I haven't been scared away by you yet, I don't think I ever will be."

"You're a real trooper." He commented sarcastically.

Dusty grinned and snuggled closer in his embrace. "So why did you take his name, anyway?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe I just got too obsessed with it."

"What's your real name?"

Sawyer thought before answering. Not that he had to think hard to recall his own name. But because it was the one sacred thing he had. The thing his parents gave him. Something hidden so deep in him that the evils of the world and what he'd become couldn't get to it.

"It's James." He whispered. "I'm James."

Personally, Dusty could never imagine calling Sawyer anything but just that. That's the name immediately on her tongue when she saw his face, or thought about his blue eyes. To her, he'd always be Sawyer, no matter who'd had that name first. It was the name she called while falling for him, and she couldn't give that up. That familiarity, that tingling when she heard the name, what she'd called out in the throes of passion. No, she couldn't give that up now.

So, with Sawyer's strong arms wrapped around her from behind, the steady rhythm of his heart on her back, and the warmth his body seeped into her, Dusty fought to keep sleep at bay. She couldn't sleep yet. The memory of her past brought up today had spurred many others. And she couldn't rest until she'd admitted all of the truths to herself once and for all.

So, she slid from Sawyer's embrace and quietly slipped outside to sit in the sand, looking up at the stars. It had been so long ignored, lost and forgotten, that she wondered for a moment if it hadn't been a dream. But, she breathed a sigh, and let her eyelids slide shut, and the memory came, washing over her, stealing her back to that moment in time. As the scene played in her head, every detail of that day, that moment, that indescribable feeling flooded her, and she was there. She knew just how real it was. How painfully, beautifully real. The best and worst moment of her life all rolled into one.

"_One of each!" The nurse cooed happily as she readjusted Dusty's pillow behind her back. She held her babies in her arms, looking from one to the other, the biggest goofiest grin on her face. But there was sadness behind her eyes. Amy had opened her eyes wide, big blue orbs. A feeling of completeness so intense as she'd never felt before invaded her, and her heart skipped. _

_Jake and Mandy were there, too. Waiting. Dusty felt their impatience. They wanted to hold their children, too. But Dusty wasn't ready just yet. She'd have her time with them. She'd only just gotten them, and this was the only time she'd get to really be this happy. So, she pushed all other thoughts away and ignored her brother and sister in law, and just gazed, through her bleary eyes, at her children. She'd only seen them for an hour, and she already loved them so much._

"_Can I have a few minutes alone, please." Dusty said in a wavering voice, and Jake kissed her forehead and took his wife along, out of the room._

_Once she was alone, Dusty set them in their separate temporary cribs beside her bed, and placed a hand on each of them. She knew what she had to do. The joy on Jake and Mandy's faces broke her heart. They wanted this so much. She couldn't go back on it now. _

"_You'll have a wonderful life with your aunt and uncle, I promise you. And even though you'll call me Aunt Dusty, I'll know you mean mommy. Because deep in here, you'll feel me. And I'll always be with you, and you'll always be with me." Dusty whispered, her voice cracking with tears. She kissed them long, and spent a blissful night with them in her arms. She didn't sleep a wink, hating the thought that her only real time with them would be spent unconscious. She just had to look at them, and realize the fact that they were a part of her. An actual, living part of her. Was she really doing this? Giving them away, to be raised by someone else, to never know they were really hers? _

_The very last moment Dusty held them as their mother, and they her children, she knew in the very deepest part of her soul that they would never be anyone else's but hers. And all their lives, they would feel connected to her in a way they would never be connected to anyone else. _

"What's wrong?"

"Jesus God! Sawyer, for the love of Pete, don't scare me like that."

"Not like I was bein sneaky. You were just zoned. You looked like your gut was bein ripped out and you were happy about it. What were you thinking about?"

"Something I haven't thought of in a long time. And now I'm remembering why." Dusty scoffed. Sawyer looked at her for a long time, sitting beside her in the sand. She looked back at him, allowing his eyes to memorize every curve of her face.

"Do you regret it?"

She paused before answering. Expression far away, but resolute. "No. I gave my brother so much happiness. For a while, anyway."

"You did an amazing thing."

"I don't feel like it." Dusty whimpered, acknowledging the pain that wrenched her heart, even after all these years, when thinking of the moment she gave her children up.

Sawyer gently turned her chin to face him, and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before whispering close to her ear. "The best people never do."

* * *

Kate set a small stick on her Indian fire, just outside her and Jack's cave. She sat on a log, with her chin in her hands, which rested on her knees, staring into the small orange flames.

What was wrong with her? Every line she'd drawn for herself had been crossed. Not to mention extremely voluntarily, too. She couldn't stick to any of her promises. She shouldn't be so close to him. She shouldn't let herself get so attached. Something terrible would happen, like it always does when she is involved. She knew this, she didn't want Jack to get hurt. But, whenever he was near, all her inhibition seemed to disappear. It felt good to give in, to break her promises to herself, and just let someone else warm her up for once. She was about to make another promise to herself to keep the position of their relationship from progressing any further when she felt a set of familiar lips kiss the back of her neck gently before Jack sat cross legged opposite her.

As he passed her, she unconsciously breathed deeply, inhaling the tantalizing scent that followed him. The one that identified him as Jack. The doctor. Protector. The one that brought back memories of herself in his arms. The one that told her she was safe. Kate smiled into the fire, but didn't look up at him.

"Dusty seems better." Kate said, to fill the silence that fell over them.

"Infinitely."

"I'm glad she lightened up."

Jack chuckled suddenly.

"What's so funny?"

"Something Dusty said to me. A few days ago, she told me I should lighten up. She said there were times I did, but you couldn't be with me all the time."

Kate smiled and looked away, strangely a bit embarrassed.

"She's a smart girl." Jack commented.

"Smart woman. She's no girl." Kate corrected.

"Sure she is. She's so young."

"Age doesn't have anything to do with it. All mothers earn that title."

"Mother? She has kids?"

"Had. They died in the crash." Kate informed him, as if he should know.

"I thought they were her niece and nephew." Jack asked, confused.

"That's just what she's been telling everyone her entire life." She smirked, "For being a doctor, you're not very smart are you?"

"Forgive me for not being as perceptive as you, but I've been a bit distracted lately." He said, throwing her a glare. Kate grinned back, a sudden sparkle springing into her eye, and she caught her bottom lip in her teeth. To hell with consequences Kate thought. He was too desirable for his own good. If it went sour, Jack couldn't say he didn't ask for it.

She crawled over to him, sauntering like a lioness on the hunt, and positioned herself in front of him, her knees resting in his lap as she kissed from his collarbone up under his chin and behind his ear. Jack caught a glimpse of amused and suspicious glances from other cave dwellers before his eyes closed involuntarily. He touched her arms, as if to keep her from going too far away from him.

But his touch didn't keep her from rocking back onto her feet, the mischievous sparkle still present in her eyes, and walking away from him into the anonymity of the shelter behind them. Jack's eyes followed her, before quickly shifting around, and he stood and followed her, trying to look inconspicuous.

She sat, leaning back onto her hands, watching him watch her. After a moment, he knelt in front of her, his hands on her thighs, leaning over her.

"Still having a crisis of faith?" She asked with much effort to form coherent words, since Jack was trailing kisses down her neck. He leaned back to answer her, but Kate took his hands from her legs and leaned back, pulling him over her. Jack smiled, melting her from the inside out.

He held himself up on his elbows, as she skimmed her fingers over his face, and he memorized the swirls and depth of her eyes.

"No. I found something to believe in." He whispered finally, stilling her wandering hands at his waist. A slow smile spread over her lips, and she leaned her head up to kiss him, her hands sliding under his shirt to touch the warm skin on his strong back. She yelped in delightful surprise as he nipped her ear, and a wrestling match was started.

The sounds of playful wrestling that echoed out to the campers soon turned to sounds of a different kind of delight. They shifted uncomfortably, and shook their heads good naturedly at each other. If things lightened up enough for whatever was occurring inside Jack's cave that elicited such giggles and exclamations, maybe life on the island was beginning to become bearable, at the very least. With the tension eased, and happiness instead of worry etched on their leader's face, one might go so far as to say people began to feel something synonymous to normal.

* * *

Ah, that was the last chapter kiddies. LOST hope is now a complete story. I hope you enjoyed it, and i hope you all watch for later stories by me, because I'm sure there will be many more. Thanks to each and every one of you who reviewed, your support was greatly appreciated. Love ya'll! Oh, and, I don't remember who asked this, but, I think Boone is still alive in this story. He didn't really play a big part, but yeah, he's still alive.

_Even from a nightmare can be born a dream._

Eclypse – If I don't see Sawyer again, I'll flip nuggets. Honestly, I'll write letters to abc. Angry ones. Mark my words.

Sausage – glad I hooked you!

Rockasoul – great to have a new reviewer.

Sakura – We'll find out about Alex when new LOSTs come on, I'm sure. Until then, we can wonder and bounce ideas around.

Liz – Glad you stumbled across my humble little story, here. I agree, the others must want Walt for his psychic-ness.

Dae – They cannot kill off Sawyer, no matter what Matthew Fox says. Sawyer has too big of a fan base. People would be utterly pissed if Sawyer died. I know I would be. We'd have to organize a picket line with signs like 'Bring Back Sawyer' and 'We Love the Southern Pervert' Oh, and when Charlie saw the heroin, I was totally being his cheerleader. No Charlie don't do it! Be strong, you don't need drugs! No Charlie don't! But, alas, he did.

October Sky – Did I tell you I watched the movie October Sky the other day? Well, I did, and it was good.

Elvenladygreenleaf – Of COURSE I saw Sawyer go shirtless. My eyes are trained to watch for that sort of thing. I do think that the men on the fishing boat were the 'others' and the boy they were coming for was Walt all along, and not Claire's baby. As for all the other theories of mysteries, my brain starts smoking when I think about it. I just don't know. We'll have to wait and find out.

Skyblue266 – Sorry, this was the last chapter. It ended a little sooner than even I wanted it to.

Nikki-da-latina – lol, no, I agree. Jack and Kate are completely cute together.

Bittersweet31 – thanks for sticking with me, and for the review.

Darkangel 206 – Sawyer was indeed shot. Probably in the shoulder. I know, I'm pretty peeved I have to wait so long for answers. I really hope Walt gets rescued, too. I was proud that Charlie brought little turniphead…I mean Aaron, back to Claire. Even though he probably wouldn't have if not for Sayid. (PS I couldn't believe Sayid lit the gunpowder in Charlie's gash! OW!) lol, it was cute that Sawyer had his hair in that little half ponytail. Ahhahahaha. Anyway, I loved reading your reviews and I'm so glad you stuck with this story to the end.

Austin B.


	20. News

My book, The Sham, is on sale!!

This is the URL:

http://www.publishamerica. com/shopping/shopdisplayproducts.asp?page130

Except without the space between the . and the com.

Just copy and paste that sucker into your browser and my book is about halfway down the page. Or you can go to publishamerica. com and search for my name: Nicole Schnurer. It should be available on Amazon. com in a few weeks, too. !!I"m so excited!! And I'm really happy that some of my fellow ff.n peeps have shown interest! And I really hope some of you give it a chance. It's worth it!

A.B.

Nicki S.


End file.
